Here's another outside link with great perspective. It's an article on respect, specifically how wives need to show our husbands respect. It covers the concept well, but has little practical advice. So here's my quick list of practical ways to show respect to your husband:
1. Don't nag.
2. Don't nag. (Some things need to be said twice.)
3. Your husband is not a dog, so please don't talk to him like one.
4. He's also not a child. Same point as above.
5. Honor him when you're with your friends. Stand up for your husband's strengths and guard his weaknesses. Your friends do not need to know the ways you've felt let down. Your mom likely doesn't either.
6. Honor him in front of your children. Telling your kids, even jokingly, that, "Daddy doesn't help clean," or, "Daddy doesn't have to work as hard as Mommy," is damaging to your husband's authority, his reputation, and his relationship with his kids. Build him up in front of your children and help them to respect him, too.
7. Honor him in public. Why is it that women get much more condescending with their husbands when there's an audience?? Embarrassing stories should be sanctioned by him, or likely not brought up at all. Discussing issues you have as a couple, even if you pass it off as a joke, still can be painful to him. Just - don't.
8. Honor him when it's just the two of you. Allow him to be the head of the household, respond to him with modesty and submission, particularly in times where you disagree.
9. Honor him in your heart. Respect is not merely an outward showing. Ask God to make a change in your heart that you may truly respect your man, not just act like it.
Now, read this:
http://themattwalshblog.com/2014/02/22/your-husband-doesnt-have-to-earn-your-respect/
To God be the glory, forever and ever, Amen!
Wednesday 26 February 2014
Saturday 1 February 2014
How to Raise a Pagan Kid in a Christian Home
I came across this link on Facebook, and wanted to share it. I want to share it with every Christian parent/Sunday School teacher/Youth Leader out there, actually.
It's a plague in Evangelical churches currently that moralism is the end goal of Children's Ministry. Our goal needs to be so much more than to raise well-behaved children. Our goal should be to teach our kids that they need God, that He alone can save, and that He should be the center of all they do.
Check out what Restore Ministries has to say on this: http://restore-ministries.org/raise-pagan-kid-christian-home/
To God be the glory, forever and ever, Amen!
It's a plague in Evangelical churches currently that moralism is the end goal of Children's Ministry. Our goal needs to be so much more than to raise well-behaved children. Our goal should be to teach our kids that they need God, that He alone can save, and that He should be the center of all they do.
Check out what Restore Ministries has to say on this: http://restore-ministries.org/raise-pagan-kid-christian-home/
To God be the glory, forever and ever, Amen!
Thursday 23 January 2014
The Practical Side of Being Intentional
In our last post we talked about being Intentional regarding our children's Christian life. If we find it beneficial to invest in our children's artistic, physical or intellectual growth, we should find it infinitely more important to set aside time to help them understand Biblical truth, and to come to know God's character through what He has revealed to us in His holy word.
But intention, without action, falls short. We may desire to help our kids learn scripture, and we may plan for them to engage in devotional times and great family conversations, but if we never sit down to teach them, or set aside time to do devotions with them, or even initiate those conversations, we have still achieved nothing.
So today's post is going to reflect on practical ideas, for how we can move from simply intending to teach our children about God, to actively pursuing these things with them. Some of these will be routine actions - things that you can do on a daily basis. Some of them will be opportunity actions - things that you do out of the norm, but still intentionally. See which ones you can start doing in your household (and work towards trying them all!)
*The first point is quite simple: read the Bible to your children. Make a point of doing this regularly, from the time they are born. A child under the age of 5 likely cannot read the scriptures for themselves, but God equipped them with an insatiable desire to be told stories - which fortunately, the Bible is filled with. I highly recommend the Jesus Storybook Bible, which helps tie in each Biblical story to the gospel, elevating these from mere feel-good stories, to snapshots of God's great rescue plan for His beloved people.
Tip: remind your kids that the stories they hear from the Bible are really true. This can easily be lost on kids who are used to hearing so many made-up stories, and watching cartoons where unbelievable things happen. But the great part about Bible stories is that just because they seem unbelievable, doesn't mean they are! It just demonstrates how great God is!
*If your children are coming to an age where they are old enough to read, help them learn by reading scripture. This is a classic way to teach children to read, and it will also help with memorization. I encourage you to get your children their own Bibles that they can read directly out of, rather than printing out individual verses on sheets. It will help your children become familiar with how the Bible is laid out, where they can find different stories, and it will become an exciting thing for them to read their 'very own Bible'. Some translations are easier to read than others, but remember, young kids are capable of learning big words, and this will also assist them as they transition to sitting in service for the sermons; if they've read the words themselves, they'll understand them as they come up in service.
* Read Christian literature. The Chronicles of Narnia are very popular in Christian homes as they serve as a great teaching platform. Abridged and illustrated versions of Pilgrim's Progress are available. These can either be read aloud, or given to older kids for their own reading time. It's recreational reading, with real substance.
*Ask your young kids what they want to learn about. We do this when we are on long drives with our family. Sometimes the topic is airplanes, or sea creatures, or trees, or planets, but no matter what your children choose to learn about, ensure you teach it to them on the basis of acknowledging a Sovereign God. For example: while talking about why giraffes have long necks, explain, "God designed giraffes to have long necks so that they could reach the leaves on tall trees," or if you're discussing trains, say, "God gave people the supplies and the knowledge they would need to build trains. He helped people figure out how to make trains go, so that people could get to different places faster." God is the centre of all things, and we can help our kids understand this; nothing that they can learn about is apart from God - He created all things so we can praise Him and glorify Him while we teach our children about anything.
*Don't wait for the Sunday School teacher to teach your children memory verses. It will happen, but it can happen much more effectively in the home. Set up sticker charts and weekly verses for your children to work on. Quiz them over meal times, and help teach them actions to some of the verses to aid in memorization. And this is not just for younger kids. Challenge your older kids to learn more than a verse at a time. Aim for a Chapter. Reward your children well for this skill. Once they grow out of stickers, move up to funding a trip to the movies with a friend, or taking them out for Laser Tag or mini golf.
*Teach your children catechisms. Scripture memorization is wonderful, and key to spiritual growth and understanding. However, we can support our understanding of Biblical truths through learning catechisms, which are in a Question and Answer form, and highlight key doctrines in to-the-point ways. While my 4 year old may not be able to currently recall all of the corresponding scriptures, he can tell you that there is, "One God, and three Persons," in the Trinity. As your kids get older, help them to learn to study the Scriptural support for each catechism question. It's easy to bring up catechism conversationally. Ask them a question, listen to their answer, then teach them the written answer. Continue to ask them this question on a regular basis until they consistently get it right. It becomes a bit of a game in our household, a bit like Jeopardy. City Chapel has illustrated booklets of the Westminster Shorter Catechism for Kids that are available for each household.
*Use times of discipline to emphasize to your children God's love, and grace. Kids sin. This is no surprise - we all sin. But each time they sin, it's an opportunity for us, their parents, to help them turn away from that sin, and turn to God instead. While disciplining your children, explain that they not only broke a rule from Mommy and Daddy, but that they also broke one of God's rules. But don't stop there. Explain that the wages of sin is death, but that Jesus paid that for us. It's important that our children understand from an early age that they are bad, and that they need a Saviour, and it is likewise important that they understand that Saviour has come, and the ransom has been paid. After talking with your children, help them to pray to God, asking for forgiveness, and thanking Him for sending His son to save us. Get your kids to pray so they get used to talking to God. With older kids, use scripture to help convict your children of their wrong behaviour. For example, Romans 12:10 instructs, "Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor." Ask your older kids if they feel their actions aligned with the "Marks of the True Christian" that are outlined around this verse. Help them to see that their actions were not in accordance with the Bible's instruction, pray over them that God would convict them, and ask God for His hand and guidance in their lives.
* Another built-in teaching time for children is when they are afraid. Be it the dark, the noisy wind, or imaginary monsters, you can teach them the God is the 'biggest and the best' and that they don't need to be afraid because God is always in control. Make sure you don't say, "so nothing bad will ever happen"... that just not true. But help them to know that God is always with us, no matter what, and that if He made the wind, or the thunder, that He can control it. Then pray with your kids and ask that God will take away the cause of their fears and comfort them.
*Sing hymns together. Many songs we sing in church are easy for children to learn, and quite catchy. I noticed how quickly my kids could pick up on them while I was practicing to lead Sunday worship one week - by the time I had learned the song comfortably enough to lead, my kids could belt out the chorus easily! If you don't sing in your house often, play worship CDs. Kids will be fond of the music their parents listen to, and they'll learn the words, so be mindful about using that gift to their advantage (read: let them learn worship lyrics rather than the lyrics to Katy Perry songs.)
* Have Bible theme days in your home. This is a great idea, especially if your kids aren't yet school age, or if they homeschool. Read the Bible story and then work the story elements into your day. Some ideas:
Daniel and the Lions Den - play with stuffed animal lions, petting them, and let them go to bed for nap time. Talk about how Daniel didn't need to fear them.
Noah and the Ark - count your toy animals, go over the names of each animal, and build a cardboard ark for them. Paint pictures of a rainbow.
Fishers of Men - play fishing games (build your own by cutting out paper shapes and putting paper clips on them, then attaching a magnet to the end of a string on a pole), teach them the song Fishers of Men, and eat tuna for lunch!
The Wise Man Built His House upon the Rock - great for the beach - collect rocks and set a toy on top. When you pour water over the rocks will stand. Then build up a heap of sand, put the toy on, and dump a pail of water on that, and watch the sand be swept away!
* Witness to your community together. Kids brought up in Christian homes can sometimes be unaware that some people don't know or love God. Explain that we should want to help these people know God, and that we can help show God's love by serving. Let them help you shovel walks, bring bottles of water or slurpees to road construction sites, make cookies for neighbours, and write cards for politicians.
* One idea that came out of our Sunday School Curriculum training in the Fall was to have touchstones for your family - tangible things that remind us of God's faithfulness. Maybe it could be trees we plant in our yard as reminder to say thanks for a specific blessing - then every time we look at the trees we can be reminded to thank God. Or maybe you have a prayer photo album, filled with people we want to pray for, or fun times we can praise God for. Maybe start a box of items that you collect on family outings so that you can go through them regularly and remember the blessings of those days.
* Teach your children about God in your own life. We've talked about how children love stories. Tell them some of your own story. Recount to your children the ways God has moved in your life, so they come to understand God is real, and He still works today. It will also help your kids to see God's hand in their own lives.
* Start a bedtime routine. Most kids need a scheduled bed time, so take advantage of this and make it into a teaching time. Read your Bible story now. Pray with your kids. Go over memory verses. Do it together as a family, so that they know this is something special. Make it a daily thing.
* Send your kids to a Christian school. Now, this one might make some people upset. Christian school is not essential to raising a Christian child. Jesus + Nothing = Everything. However, we need to acknowledge our role as the primary teachers in our children's lives; we are responsible for everything our children accept as true. That doesn't mean we'll be the only ones teaching them, but that we need to be accountable for what they are taught. If we say we want to be intentional about teaching our children that God made all things, and all things are to glorify God, and then they go to a non-Christian school where this foundational truth isn't acknowledged - or is even openly discredited - we are responsible for the confusion our children will inevitably feel. Just because our kids go to Christian school does not mean we can relax our watch on what our children are learning, but if they are under Christian authority at school, many things will be easier in regards to their Christian education.
Enrolling your child in a Christian school may not always be a viable option - private schools are often outside the financial reach of many households, and Christian schools in the public sector fill up quickly. Aside from homeschooling, you may be out of options. It is not sinful to send your child to public school. But you must retain your role as their primary teacher, and help them filter through the bad information they will come home with. Regardless of where our children are educated, we need to sit down with them every day and discuss what happened at school that day, and what they learned. And just like when they were preschoolers in the car on a long road trip, help them to see everything through the knowledge that we have a Sovereign God, that created all things for His glory.
* Pray with your kids. And over your kids. And for your kids. And for yourself, that you might know how to lead your kids. Pray continually.
We can do nothing good, but by God's grace. If you have good intentions, but find it hard to move those plans to action, pray that God will help you with this. And even when we are moved to action, even if we do everything possible to teach our children about God, our children cannot come to God without Him stirring their hearts first. But we can have faith in our Just God, that even when we stumble, even when we fail miserably, He is gracious and will carry out all things according to His will.
To God be the glory, forever and ever, Amen.
But intention, without action, falls short. We may desire to help our kids learn scripture, and we may plan for them to engage in devotional times and great family conversations, but if we never sit down to teach them, or set aside time to do devotions with them, or even initiate those conversations, we have still achieved nothing.
So today's post is going to reflect on practical ideas, for how we can move from simply intending to teach our children about God, to actively pursuing these things with them. Some of these will be routine actions - things that you can do on a daily basis. Some of them will be opportunity actions - things that you do out of the norm, but still intentionally. See which ones you can start doing in your household (and work towards trying them all!)
*The first point is quite simple: read the Bible to your children. Make a point of doing this regularly, from the time they are born. A child under the age of 5 likely cannot read the scriptures for themselves, but God equipped them with an insatiable desire to be told stories - which fortunately, the Bible is filled with. I highly recommend the Jesus Storybook Bible, which helps tie in each Biblical story to the gospel, elevating these from mere feel-good stories, to snapshots of God's great rescue plan for His beloved people.
Tip: remind your kids that the stories they hear from the Bible are really true. This can easily be lost on kids who are used to hearing so many made-up stories, and watching cartoons where unbelievable things happen. But the great part about Bible stories is that just because they seem unbelievable, doesn't mean they are! It just demonstrates how great God is!
*If your children are coming to an age where they are old enough to read, help them learn by reading scripture. This is a classic way to teach children to read, and it will also help with memorization. I encourage you to get your children their own Bibles that they can read directly out of, rather than printing out individual verses on sheets. It will help your children become familiar with how the Bible is laid out, where they can find different stories, and it will become an exciting thing for them to read their 'very own Bible'. Some translations are easier to read than others, but remember, young kids are capable of learning big words, and this will also assist them as they transition to sitting in service for the sermons; if they've read the words themselves, they'll understand them as they come up in service.
* Read Christian literature. The Chronicles of Narnia are very popular in Christian homes as they serve as a great teaching platform. Abridged and illustrated versions of Pilgrim's Progress are available. These can either be read aloud, or given to older kids for their own reading time. It's recreational reading, with real substance.
*Ask your young kids what they want to learn about. We do this when we are on long drives with our family. Sometimes the topic is airplanes, or sea creatures, or trees, or planets, but no matter what your children choose to learn about, ensure you teach it to them on the basis of acknowledging a Sovereign God. For example: while talking about why giraffes have long necks, explain, "God designed giraffes to have long necks so that they could reach the leaves on tall trees," or if you're discussing trains, say, "God gave people the supplies and the knowledge they would need to build trains. He helped people figure out how to make trains go, so that people could get to different places faster." God is the centre of all things, and we can help our kids understand this; nothing that they can learn about is apart from God - He created all things so we can praise Him and glorify Him while we teach our children about anything.
*Don't wait for the Sunday School teacher to teach your children memory verses. It will happen, but it can happen much more effectively in the home. Set up sticker charts and weekly verses for your children to work on. Quiz them over meal times, and help teach them actions to some of the verses to aid in memorization. And this is not just for younger kids. Challenge your older kids to learn more than a verse at a time. Aim for a Chapter. Reward your children well for this skill. Once they grow out of stickers, move up to funding a trip to the movies with a friend, or taking them out for Laser Tag or mini golf.
*Teach your children catechisms. Scripture memorization is wonderful, and key to spiritual growth and understanding. However, we can support our understanding of Biblical truths through learning catechisms, which are in a Question and Answer form, and highlight key doctrines in to-the-point ways. While my 4 year old may not be able to currently recall all of the corresponding scriptures, he can tell you that there is, "One God, and three Persons," in the Trinity. As your kids get older, help them to learn to study the Scriptural support for each catechism question. It's easy to bring up catechism conversationally. Ask them a question, listen to their answer, then teach them the written answer. Continue to ask them this question on a regular basis until they consistently get it right. It becomes a bit of a game in our household, a bit like Jeopardy. City Chapel has illustrated booklets of the Westminster Shorter Catechism for Kids that are available for each household.
*Use times of discipline to emphasize to your children God's love, and grace. Kids sin. This is no surprise - we all sin. But each time they sin, it's an opportunity for us, their parents, to help them turn away from that sin, and turn to God instead. While disciplining your children, explain that they not only broke a rule from Mommy and Daddy, but that they also broke one of God's rules. But don't stop there. Explain that the wages of sin is death, but that Jesus paid that for us. It's important that our children understand from an early age that they are bad, and that they need a Saviour, and it is likewise important that they understand that Saviour has come, and the ransom has been paid. After talking with your children, help them to pray to God, asking for forgiveness, and thanking Him for sending His son to save us. Get your kids to pray so they get used to talking to God. With older kids, use scripture to help convict your children of their wrong behaviour. For example, Romans 12:10 instructs, "Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor." Ask your older kids if they feel their actions aligned with the "Marks of the True Christian" that are outlined around this verse. Help them to see that their actions were not in accordance with the Bible's instruction, pray over them that God would convict them, and ask God for His hand and guidance in their lives.
* Another built-in teaching time for children is when they are afraid. Be it the dark, the noisy wind, or imaginary monsters, you can teach them the God is the 'biggest and the best' and that they don't need to be afraid because God is always in control. Make sure you don't say, "so nothing bad will ever happen"... that just not true. But help them to know that God is always with us, no matter what, and that if He made the wind, or the thunder, that He can control it. Then pray with your kids and ask that God will take away the cause of their fears and comfort them.
*Sing hymns together. Many songs we sing in church are easy for children to learn, and quite catchy. I noticed how quickly my kids could pick up on them while I was practicing to lead Sunday worship one week - by the time I had learned the song comfortably enough to lead, my kids could belt out the chorus easily! If you don't sing in your house often, play worship CDs. Kids will be fond of the music their parents listen to, and they'll learn the words, so be mindful about using that gift to their advantage (read: let them learn worship lyrics rather than the lyrics to Katy Perry songs.)
* Have Bible theme days in your home. This is a great idea, especially if your kids aren't yet school age, or if they homeschool. Read the Bible story and then work the story elements into your day. Some ideas:
Daniel and the Lions Den - play with stuffed animal lions, petting them, and let them go to bed for nap time. Talk about how Daniel didn't need to fear them.
Noah and the Ark - count your toy animals, go over the names of each animal, and build a cardboard ark for them. Paint pictures of a rainbow.
Fishers of Men - play fishing games (build your own by cutting out paper shapes and putting paper clips on them, then attaching a magnet to the end of a string on a pole), teach them the song Fishers of Men, and eat tuna for lunch!
The Wise Man Built His House upon the Rock - great for the beach - collect rocks and set a toy on top. When you pour water over the rocks will stand. Then build up a heap of sand, put the toy on, and dump a pail of water on that, and watch the sand be swept away!
* Witness to your community together. Kids brought up in Christian homes can sometimes be unaware that some people don't know or love God. Explain that we should want to help these people know God, and that we can help show God's love by serving. Let them help you shovel walks, bring bottles of water or slurpees to road construction sites, make cookies for neighbours, and write cards for politicians.
* One idea that came out of our Sunday School Curriculum training in the Fall was to have touchstones for your family - tangible things that remind us of God's faithfulness. Maybe it could be trees we plant in our yard as reminder to say thanks for a specific blessing - then every time we look at the trees we can be reminded to thank God. Or maybe you have a prayer photo album, filled with people we want to pray for, or fun times we can praise God for. Maybe start a box of items that you collect on family outings so that you can go through them regularly and remember the blessings of those days.
* Teach your children about God in your own life. We've talked about how children love stories. Tell them some of your own story. Recount to your children the ways God has moved in your life, so they come to understand God is real, and He still works today. It will also help your kids to see God's hand in their own lives.
* Start a bedtime routine. Most kids need a scheduled bed time, so take advantage of this and make it into a teaching time. Read your Bible story now. Pray with your kids. Go over memory verses. Do it together as a family, so that they know this is something special. Make it a daily thing.
* Send your kids to a Christian school. Now, this one might make some people upset. Christian school is not essential to raising a Christian child. Jesus + Nothing = Everything. However, we need to acknowledge our role as the primary teachers in our children's lives; we are responsible for everything our children accept as true. That doesn't mean we'll be the only ones teaching them, but that we need to be accountable for what they are taught. If we say we want to be intentional about teaching our children that God made all things, and all things are to glorify God, and then they go to a non-Christian school where this foundational truth isn't acknowledged - or is even openly discredited - we are responsible for the confusion our children will inevitably feel. Just because our kids go to Christian school does not mean we can relax our watch on what our children are learning, but if they are under Christian authority at school, many things will be easier in regards to their Christian education.
Enrolling your child in a Christian school may not always be a viable option - private schools are often outside the financial reach of many households, and Christian schools in the public sector fill up quickly. Aside from homeschooling, you may be out of options. It is not sinful to send your child to public school. But you must retain your role as their primary teacher, and help them filter through the bad information they will come home with. Regardless of where our children are educated, we need to sit down with them every day and discuss what happened at school that day, and what they learned. And just like when they were preschoolers in the car on a long road trip, help them to see everything through the knowledge that we have a Sovereign God, that created all things for His glory.
* Pray with your kids. And over your kids. And for your kids. And for yourself, that you might know how to lead your kids. Pray continually.
We can do nothing good, but by God's grace. If you have good intentions, but find it hard to move those plans to action, pray that God will help you with this. And even when we are moved to action, even if we do everything possible to teach our children about God, our children cannot come to God without Him stirring their hearts first. But we can have faith in our Just God, that even when we stumble, even when we fail miserably, He is gracious and will carry out all things according to His will.
To God be the glory, forever and ever, Amen.
Tuesday 7 January 2014
Intentional
I love music. I always have. Something inside of me swells when I hear a gorgeous song, sung by a choir, or even an intricate chord wrought with beauty. I've participated in musically based programs for nearly my whole life: children's choirs, school choirs, honors choirs in high school, all while learning instruments on my own time outside of organized programming.
Music is important to me, so obviously I hope that it will be important to my kids.
Perhaps music isn't your thing, though. But maybe art? Dancing? Cooking? Reading? There are things which we enjoy in our lives, that we want our children to learn to appreciate and be adept in, so we often go out of our way to nurture their existing skills, and to impart what wisdom we've garnered in our years of study.
Our interest in these matters compels us to actively teach our children about them. And since we desire our children to be well-rounded individuals, there are a number of other activities we want them to have exposure to; we put our kids in swimming lessons, or dance classes - we sit down with our spouses when the Community Activities books come in the mail and go over what skills we want our kids to develop, knowing that without active, intentional pursuit, many of those skills will not be grasped.
As our children enter school the curriculum states more things which society has deemed deserving of constant effort to ensure comprehension: math, science, languages, health...
There is nothing wrong with this approach. It is, in fact, wise and admirable to plan for who we want our children to become, and to set out intentionally to help them achieve that goal. We want them to be able to swim, so they go into those swimming lessons. We want them to be able to play piano, so we set aside time each week to teach them the notes. We want them to understand how the world functions so that they can find employment and eventually become self-sufficient, so we place them in school.
And above all, we should desire our children to love God, wholeheartedly, and to be equipped to serve God in whatever capacity He has called them to. But is this something we are being intentional about?
Back in October a representative from Great Commission Publishing came to City Chapel to do a training session with parents and teachers regarding the new curriculum, but the wisdom in his session reached beyond just the Sunday School setting. If we want our children to learn something, we need to be intentional about teaching it to them. Are we placing a higher priority on swimming, horseback riding and even reading than we are on our children knowing God's love and the truths in His word?
Scripture tells us, "Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it." (Proverbs 22:6) It doesn't say, "hope a child comes to love God," or, "pray for the best, and stand back to see what happens." It tells us to train them, like you would an athlete. Using repetition, method, order and hard work.
Deuteronomy 6:7 says, "You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise." Diligently. In earnest. Intentionally. At every opportunity, but also making opportunities.
Sunday School programs work to teach our children how to understand God's word, to know foundational truths about God, His character, and His promises, and to prepare them to receive teaching in a sermon format. But this is only one hour a week. We can't hope that our children will become proficient in scripture memorization when they only focus on that in Sunday School for 10 minutes (maybe) of the one-hour, once-a-week class. If we want our children to know God, to arm themselves with the, "Sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God," (Eph. 6:17) and to build their lives upon Him, then let us intentionally help them in that cause by setting aside time, and making the effort to teach them about their Heavenly Father.
I will be working to compile a list of practical ways we can teach our children in our homes. If you have any ideas, please put them in the comment section so they can be added in the next blog post!
To God be the Glory, forever and ever, Amen!
Music is important to me, so obviously I hope that it will be important to my kids.
Perhaps music isn't your thing, though. But maybe art? Dancing? Cooking? Reading? There are things which we enjoy in our lives, that we want our children to learn to appreciate and be adept in, so we often go out of our way to nurture their existing skills, and to impart what wisdom we've garnered in our years of study.
Our interest in these matters compels us to actively teach our children about them. And since we desire our children to be well-rounded individuals, there are a number of other activities we want them to have exposure to; we put our kids in swimming lessons, or dance classes - we sit down with our spouses when the Community Activities books come in the mail and go over what skills we want our kids to develop, knowing that without active, intentional pursuit, many of those skills will not be grasped.
As our children enter school the curriculum states more things which society has deemed deserving of constant effort to ensure comprehension: math, science, languages, health...
There is nothing wrong with this approach. It is, in fact, wise and admirable to plan for who we want our children to become, and to set out intentionally to help them achieve that goal. We want them to be able to swim, so they go into those swimming lessons. We want them to be able to play piano, so we set aside time each week to teach them the notes. We want them to understand how the world functions so that they can find employment and eventually become self-sufficient, so we place them in school.
And above all, we should desire our children to love God, wholeheartedly, and to be equipped to serve God in whatever capacity He has called them to. But is this something we are being intentional about?
Back in October a representative from Great Commission Publishing came to City Chapel to do a training session with parents and teachers regarding the new curriculum, but the wisdom in his session reached beyond just the Sunday School setting. If we want our children to learn something, we need to be intentional about teaching it to them. Are we placing a higher priority on swimming, horseback riding and even reading than we are on our children knowing God's love and the truths in His word?
Scripture tells us, "Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it." (Proverbs 22:6) It doesn't say, "hope a child comes to love God," or, "pray for the best, and stand back to see what happens." It tells us to train them, like you would an athlete. Using repetition, method, order and hard work.
Deuteronomy 6:7 says, "You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise." Diligently. In earnest. Intentionally. At every opportunity, but also making opportunities.
Sunday School programs work to teach our children how to understand God's word, to know foundational truths about God, His character, and His promises, and to prepare them to receive teaching in a sermon format. But this is only one hour a week. We can't hope that our children will become proficient in scripture memorization when they only focus on that in Sunday School for 10 minutes (maybe) of the one-hour, once-a-week class. If we want our children to know God, to arm themselves with the, "Sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God," (Eph. 6:17) and to build their lives upon Him, then let us intentionally help them in that cause by setting aside time, and making the effort to teach them about their Heavenly Father.
I will be working to compile a list of practical ways we can teach our children in our homes. If you have any ideas, please put them in the comment section so they can be added in the next blog post!
To God be the Glory, forever and ever, Amen!
Wednesday 9 October 2013
A Prayer for the Worried Mom's Heart
As a Mother it can seem impossible to get away from anxiety. But that's not how we are called to live.
Here is a great blog post from Desiring God: A Prayer for the Worried Mom's Heart.
To God be the glory, forever and ever, Amen!
Here is a great blog post from Desiring God: A Prayer for the Worried Mom's Heart.
To God be the glory, forever and ever, Amen!
Wednesday 2 October 2013
He Has Blessed Us
We are so blessed. So, so blessed.
I think the extent to which we are blessed is too often overlooked. Perhaps once or twice a year we really dwell on our blessings, quite often around Thanksgiving, or maybe Christmas. But those times can be oddly distorting to our perception of the many gifts in our lives. Sometime we are so blinded by our good health, our good fortune, and our bounty of friends and good food, that we never get past those more-tangible blessings and gaze upon the more subtle, and more profound ones.
For example, we need to remember that we are blessed by God to be in possession of our good intentions, our desires to serve and any wisdom we attain. If we are eager to learn more about God and His character, He has bestowed that desire upon us. If we are consistent and fervent in our studying, He has gifted us with that steadiness. And when we learn more about who He is and His truths, He has revealed that to us.
We are blessed to have a God who holds us so dearly, that He insists on disciplining us, as a Father disciplines his children. Oft times in the modern church, the idea that God disciplines us is viewed as archaic and brutish. But discipline isn't the work of a brute: it's the work of a God who will not suffer those He loves to ever fall away from His hold. It isn't beating us down until we submit, but rather helping us attain a desire to submit to His perfect ways. Shane & Shane's song Though You Slay Me beautifully depicts this in their lyrics: "You strike down to bind me up, You say You do it all in love, that I might know You in Your suffering."
This discipline "yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it," (Heb. 12:11) and is a gift to us, because those who are left without discipline, scripture refers to as illegitimate children, and not sons (Heb. 12:8). We are instructed to, "endure hardship as discipline," and that hardship may come in many forms, but when it comes we need to examine what in our lives God may need to correct us in, to respond appropriately with repentance and reformation, and to thank the Lord for His faithful love which is not content to allow us to continue in our sinful ways.
We are blessed by what God teaches us through our trials. When money is tight, we should praise God for the lesson in stewardship! When we feel unappreciated and like we're the only ones striving to keep the house clean, we can thank the Lord for the chance to embrace a true servant's heart. When we encounter issues with out health, or our children's health, perhaps God is helping us to understand how to cope, so that in turn we can be blessed to assist others when they are faced with similar issues.
We are blessed by the gifts God gives us, even though we sometimes forget how badly we want them. As a mother of young children, by about the seventh time the toddler is screaming at only 9:30 a.m., it can occasionally be tricky to remember that we want to stay home with our children and raise them, but God hasn't forgotten. He knows that's where our hearts lie. And when we're picking up that cup on the counter that somehow, yet again, evaded being put in the empty dishwasher by our spouse once he was done with it, God knows that we're infinitely happier having that spouse in our lives, than we would be if he were taken away (dirty dishes and all). And on those good days when our husbands are affectionate and helpful, and our children's faces, and attitudes, are shining and cherub-like, it's infinitely easier to be grateful for them, but even in those moments of frustration, they are still a blessing, and the opportunity to walk with them through the most stressful times are a blessing in themselves.
Turkey and fun times aside, we are richly blessed, and sometimes we are so blessed that we are blinded by our wealth. But in reality, if we were left with our turkeys, and our friends, and our warm houses and nice clothes, but without these gifts of greater importance and our eternal inheritance, we would be utterly destitute. So it's funny, in a very sad way, that it's often much easier to be grateful for the tangible gifts we have than the eternal ones.
Every breath, every moment, every joy, and every trial, is a gift to us from God. He is Sovereign in what He had brought to us in our lives, and we are responsible for how we respond to those opportunities.
So rejoice in the Lord always; again I say, rejoice - He has richly blessed us.
To God be the glory, forever and ever, Amen.
I think the extent to which we are blessed is too often overlooked. Perhaps once or twice a year we really dwell on our blessings, quite often around Thanksgiving, or maybe Christmas. But those times can be oddly distorting to our perception of the many gifts in our lives. Sometime we are so blinded by our good health, our good fortune, and our bounty of friends and good food, that we never get past those more-tangible blessings and gaze upon the more subtle, and more profound ones.
For example, we need to remember that we are blessed by God to be in possession of our good intentions, our desires to serve and any wisdom we attain. If we are eager to learn more about God and His character, He has bestowed that desire upon us. If we are consistent and fervent in our studying, He has gifted us with that steadiness. And when we learn more about who He is and His truths, He has revealed that to us.
We are blessed to have a God who holds us so dearly, that He insists on disciplining us, as a Father disciplines his children. Oft times in the modern church, the idea that God disciplines us is viewed as archaic and brutish. But discipline isn't the work of a brute: it's the work of a God who will not suffer those He loves to ever fall away from His hold. It isn't beating us down until we submit, but rather helping us attain a desire to submit to His perfect ways. Shane & Shane's song Though You Slay Me beautifully depicts this in their lyrics: "You strike down to bind me up, You say You do it all in love, that I might know You in Your suffering."
This discipline "yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it," (Heb. 12:11) and is a gift to us, because those who are left without discipline, scripture refers to as illegitimate children, and not sons (Heb. 12:8). We are instructed to, "endure hardship as discipline," and that hardship may come in many forms, but when it comes we need to examine what in our lives God may need to correct us in, to respond appropriately with repentance and reformation, and to thank the Lord for His faithful love which is not content to allow us to continue in our sinful ways.
We are blessed by what God teaches us through our trials. When money is tight, we should praise God for the lesson in stewardship! When we feel unappreciated and like we're the only ones striving to keep the house clean, we can thank the Lord for the chance to embrace a true servant's heart. When we encounter issues with out health, or our children's health, perhaps God is helping us to understand how to cope, so that in turn we can be blessed to assist others when they are faced with similar issues.
We are blessed by the gifts God gives us, even though we sometimes forget how badly we want them. As a mother of young children, by about the seventh time the toddler is screaming at only 9:30 a.m., it can occasionally be tricky to remember that we want to stay home with our children and raise them, but God hasn't forgotten. He knows that's where our hearts lie. And when we're picking up that cup on the counter that somehow, yet again, evaded being put in the empty dishwasher by our spouse once he was done with it, God knows that we're infinitely happier having that spouse in our lives, than we would be if he were taken away (dirty dishes and all). And on those good days when our husbands are affectionate and helpful, and our children's faces, and attitudes, are shining and cherub-like, it's infinitely easier to be grateful for them, but even in those moments of frustration, they are still a blessing, and the opportunity to walk with them through the most stressful times are a blessing in themselves.
Turkey and fun times aside, we are richly blessed, and sometimes we are so blessed that we are blinded by our wealth. But in reality, if we were left with our turkeys, and our friends, and our warm houses and nice clothes, but without these gifts of greater importance and our eternal inheritance, we would be utterly destitute. So it's funny, in a very sad way, that it's often much easier to be grateful for the tangible gifts we have than the eternal ones.
Every breath, every moment, every joy, and every trial, is a gift to us from God. He is Sovereign in what He had brought to us in our lives, and we are responsible for how we respond to those opportunities.
So rejoice in the Lord always; again I say, rejoice - He has richly blessed us.
To God be the glory, forever and ever, Amen.
Monday 10 June 2013
The Submissive Wife
This week at City Chapel, our sermon focused on Ephesians 5:22-23, which reads, "Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior."
The elder who spoke this week did a fantastic job clarifying this portion of scripture as he illustrated some of the ways that the idea of submission is misconstrued; biblical submission is not mindlessly following, it is not an open invitation to abuse of authority, it should not be pushed back against by extreme ideas of feminism... You can download or listen to the whole sermon, dated June 9th, 2013, here.
Through the sermon, a number of quotes were mentioned which depicted the depraved way the world views "submission". This encouraged me to write about what Biblical submission truly looks like, in a practical way; we know as wives that we are called to submit, but sometimes it can be confusing to figure out just how to do that.
First off, I want to point out that we are called to be submissive not just with our actions, but also with our thoughts and our intentions. Typically as women within the church, we consider 'serve' and 'submit' to go hand-in-hand, and very often they do. As we embrace our roles as Keepers of the home, and submit to that position that our husbands encourage us in, very often service is the practical way that we submit. But it's not enough to do the chores that make up part of our role - we need to submit in our hearts, as much as we submit our time and energy.
We may applaud ourselves for cleaning the much-dreaded bathroom floor, and consider that as an act of submission, since it obviously wasn't an act of indulgence, but the reality is that if we complete such tasks while grumbling, expecting recognition and cursing our family members for making such a mess in the first place, those tasks are degraded to being only an act of service (in the most surface-level interpretation of the word), and no longer resemble submission, or worship, or much of anything good. Yah, your house might be clean, but to whose glory and benefit?
We can often figure out on our own that part of submitting to our husbands is submitting our time and undertaking the role which we find ourselves in, but it's not merely about doing the chores. We are called to submit in our hearts, joyfully embracing our roles and seeking to honor our husbands through our accomplishments. No grumbling. No praise-seeking. Just doing the service, but with a servant's heart. So as we go about our duties, we need to take care to perform them not only well, but willingly, and gladly. We aren't called to begrudging submission, but true, heart-felt, and willing submission.
Another way in which we can practically submit to our husbands is in the little differences of opinions we may have in our households. You like the walls blue, he likes them burnt orange. Is this a big deal? Not really. Can people make it into a big deal? Absolutely, and we do all the time. It's almost as if because it's a small deal, people feel justified in fighting about it. "We'd never fight about the big things like religion or how to raise our children - this is just about paint colors." Or often, there's not even a fight - the wife just decides, doesn't consult the husband, or doesn't listen to his opinion when it is offered up. Because we tend to spend more time in the home, we feel like it's our right to dictate how the home will work and how it will look.
Here's a tip: let the walls be burnt orange. This isn't about letting your husband win. This is a marriage, not a competition to see whose will is the strongest; there should be no 'winning' in a marriage, because if there is, then someone is 'losing'. Instead, this is about honoring our husband's preferences, considering their desires and seeking to please them, even through submission of our own tastes, preferences or desires. It's not just house colors. It's meals, what you do on dates, what hangs on your walls, how you spend your free time. This does not mean that you never get to do what you would prefer - because the beautiful thing about a marriage which portrays Biblical submission is that the husband is called to submit to wife as well (Ephesians 5:21). Once you have both offered up your opinions, you can either choose to submit to his preference 100% off the bat, seek to find a common ground that you can both agree on, or respectfully apply to him to consent to your preference. And if he has a real issue with letting you paint the walls blue - back off it. This is where the hardest part of submission comes in: submitting to our husband's will and desires when we truly dislike where those fall.
When should we not submit to our husbands? When what they are asking of us is contrary to what God is asking of us. Period. If it is harmful to you or someone else, if it is in violation of the law, or if it in any other way sinful, we are called to submit to God first, as our higher authority, and are in that instance exempt from submitting to our husbands. But painting the walls burnt orange is not sinful.
It might be an easy enough thing to let the walls be burnt orange. But what if the subject in question isn't paint colors, but rather where you are going to live? Or whether you go back to work after the kids go to school or you stay home still? Or whether you continue in a volunteer position or give it up? These are tough things to disagree about. Part of the reason is because it directly affects your life, and how you use your time and energy, and the world tells us that since it's our life, we should get to dictate what we do with it. But I hope by now we've learned to drown out what the world is saying.
Even if we feel very strongly about something, and we want something completely opposite from our husbands, instead of going into a head-butting stalemate where it turns into a waiting game to see who folds first, we are called to submit to the will of our husband. Allow them to lead the household, as they are the ones who are responsible to be the heads. The burden of the household's well-being falls first to the head, as one who will be held accountable. We need to trust our husbands. And if you submit to your husband in something, and it turns out that you were 'right' after all, and what you had suggested would have worked out better, you still would have glorified God through your submission and obedience, so you have still done the right thing.
If your husband is asking you to do something, but you see it as sinful or harmful, yet he does not, seek the counsel of a wise, Godly third-party. And if the third-party agrees with your husband, don't be bitter, but take the cue that it is now the time for you to submit your will to your husband. And remember, it's not your husband's job to break your will, which is abusive, but rather it's our job to submit our will, to the glory of God.
And as a closing note, what is a wife supposed to do if her husband is not a Godly man? Submit. Unless he is asking her to sin, a wife is always called to submit to her husband, Christian or not. Scripture even tells us this is the best way we can witness to our spouses if they are not believers. (1 Peter 3:1-2) I fully acknowledge that there will be people who disagree with these depictions of submission, but I believe that scripture is true, God-breathed, and our highest authority as God's own word, and wives are called to submit to their husbands repeatedly throughout the course of scripture. And if we can agree that we truly are to submit, it is important that we each strive to fully comprehend the depth of that call, past the surface-level interpretation which stops short at occasionally cleaning the bathroom when we don't really want to. Husbands and wives should seek to outdo each other in who can submit the most for the benefit of the other.
Our submission to our husbands on Earth is an act of worship to our Father in Heaven. And as our husbands lovingly strive to lead us and serve us as Christ is the head of the church, our marriages will become rich with blessing as we each stop thinking of our own benefit for the sake of our spouse's.
To God be the glory, forever and ever, Amen!
The elder who spoke this week did a fantastic job clarifying this portion of scripture as he illustrated some of the ways that the idea of submission is misconstrued; biblical submission is not mindlessly following, it is not an open invitation to abuse of authority, it should not be pushed back against by extreme ideas of feminism... You can download or listen to the whole sermon, dated June 9th, 2013, here.
Through the sermon, a number of quotes were mentioned which depicted the depraved way the world views "submission". This encouraged me to write about what Biblical submission truly looks like, in a practical way; we know as wives that we are called to submit, but sometimes it can be confusing to figure out just how to do that.
First off, I want to point out that we are called to be submissive not just with our actions, but also with our thoughts and our intentions. Typically as women within the church, we consider 'serve' and 'submit' to go hand-in-hand, and very often they do. As we embrace our roles as Keepers of the home, and submit to that position that our husbands encourage us in, very often service is the practical way that we submit. But it's not enough to do the chores that make up part of our role - we need to submit in our hearts, as much as we submit our time and energy.
We may applaud ourselves for cleaning the much-dreaded bathroom floor, and consider that as an act of submission, since it obviously wasn't an act of indulgence, but the reality is that if we complete such tasks while grumbling, expecting recognition and cursing our family members for making such a mess in the first place, those tasks are degraded to being only an act of service (in the most surface-level interpretation of the word), and no longer resemble submission, or worship, or much of anything good. Yah, your house might be clean, but to whose glory and benefit?
We can often figure out on our own that part of submitting to our husbands is submitting our time and undertaking the role which we find ourselves in, but it's not merely about doing the chores. We are called to submit in our hearts, joyfully embracing our roles and seeking to honor our husbands through our accomplishments. No grumbling. No praise-seeking. Just doing the service, but with a servant's heart. So as we go about our duties, we need to take care to perform them not only well, but willingly, and gladly. We aren't called to begrudging submission, but true, heart-felt, and willing submission.
Another way in which we can practically submit to our husbands is in the little differences of opinions we may have in our households. You like the walls blue, he likes them burnt orange. Is this a big deal? Not really. Can people make it into a big deal? Absolutely, and we do all the time. It's almost as if because it's a small deal, people feel justified in fighting about it. "We'd never fight about the big things like religion or how to raise our children - this is just about paint colors." Or often, there's not even a fight - the wife just decides, doesn't consult the husband, or doesn't listen to his opinion when it is offered up. Because we tend to spend more time in the home, we feel like it's our right to dictate how the home will work and how it will look.
Here's a tip: let the walls be burnt orange. This isn't about letting your husband win. This is a marriage, not a competition to see whose will is the strongest; there should be no 'winning' in a marriage, because if there is, then someone is 'losing'. Instead, this is about honoring our husband's preferences, considering their desires and seeking to please them, even through submission of our own tastes, preferences or desires. It's not just house colors. It's meals, what you do on dates, what hangs on your walls, how you spend your free time. This does not mean that you never get to do what you would prefer - because the beautiful thing about a marriage which portrays Biblical submission is that the husband is called to submit to wife as well (Ephesians 5:21). Once you have both offered up your opinions, you can either choose to submit to his preference 100% off the bat, seek to find a common ground that you can both agree on, or respectfully apply to him to consent to your preference. And if he has a real issue with letting you paint the walls blue - back off it. This is where the hardest part of submission comes in: submitting to our husband's will and desires when we truly dislike where those fall.
When should we not submit to our husbands? When what they are asking of us is contrary to what God is asking of us. Period. If it is harmful to you or someone else, if it is in violation of the law, or if it in any other way sinful, we are called to submit to God first, as our higher authority, and are in that instance exempt from submitting to our husbands. But painting the walls burnt orange is not sinful.
It might be an easy enough thing to let the walls be burnt orange. But what if the subject in question isn't paint colors, but rather where you are going to live? Or whether you go back to work after the kids go to school or you stay home still? Or whether you continue in a volunteer position or give it up? These are tough things to disagree about. Part of the reason is because it directly affects your life, and how you use your time and energy, and the world tells us that since it's our life, we should get to dictate what we do with it. But I hope by now we've learned to drown out what the world is saying.
Even if we feel very strongly about something, and we want something completely opposite from our husbands, instead of going into a head-butting stalemate where it turns into a waiting game to see who folds first, we are called to submit to the will of our husband. Allow them to lead the household, as they are the ones who are responsible to be the heads. The burden of the household's well-being falls first to the head, as one who will be held accountable. We need to trust our husbands. And if you submit to your husband in something, and it turns out that you were 'right' after all, and what you had suggested would have worked out better, you still would have glorified God through your submission and obedience, so you have still done the right thing.
If your husband is asking you to do something, but you see it as sinful or harmful, yet he does not, seek the counsel of a wise, Godly third-party. And if the third-party agrees with your husband, don't be bitter, but take the cue that it is now the time for you to submit your will to your husband. And remember, it's not your husband's job to break your will, which is abusive, but rather it's our job to submit our will, to the glory of God.
And as a closing note, what is a wife supposed to do if her husband is not a Godly man? Submit. Unless he is asking her to sin, a wife is always called to submit to her husband, Christian or not. Scripture even tells us this is the best way we can witness to our spouses if they are not believers. (1 Peter 3:1-2) I fully acknowledge that there will be people who disagree with these depictions of submission, but I believe that scripture is true, God-breathed, and our highest authority as God's own word, and wives are called to submit to their husbands repeatedly throughout the course of scripture. And if we can agree that we truly are to submit, it is important that we each strive to fully comprehend the depth of that call, past the surface-level interpretation which stops short at occasionally cleaning the bathroom when we don't really want to. Husbands and wives should seek to outdo each other in who can submit the most for the benefit of the other.
Our submission to our husbands on Earth is an act of worship to our Father in Heaven. And as our husbands lovingly strive to lead us and serve us as Christ is the head of the church, our marriages will become rich with blessing as we each stop thinking of our own benefit for the sake of our spouse's.
To God be the glory, forever and ever, Amen!
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