Here's another outside link with great perspective. It's an article on respect, specifically how wives need to show our husbands respect. It covers the concept well, but has little practical advice. So here's my quick list of practical ways to show respect to your husband:
1. Don't nag.
2. Don't nag. (Some things need to be said twice.)
3. Your husband is not a dog, so please don't talk to him like one.
4. He's also not a child. Same point as above.
5. Honor him when you're with your friends. Stand up for your husband's strengths and guard his weaknesses. Your friends do not need to know the ways you've felt let down. Your mom likely doesn't either.
6. Honor him in front of your children. Telling your kids, even jokingly, that, "Daddy doesn't help clean," or, "Daddy doesn't have to work as hard as Mommy," is damaging to your husband's authority, his reputation, and his relationship with his kids. Build him up in front of your children and help them to respect him, too.
7. Honor him in public. Why is it that women get much more condescending with their husbands when there's an audience?? Embarrassing stories should be sanctioned by him, or likely not brought up at all. Discussing issues you have as a couple, even if you pass it off as a joke, still can be painful to him. Just - don't.
8. Honor him when it's just the two of you. Allow him to be the head of the household, respond to him with modesty and submission, particularly in times where you disagree.
9. Honor him in your heart. Respect is not merely an outward showing. Ask God to make a change in your heart that you may truly respect your man, not just act like it.
Now, read this:
http://themattwalshblog.com/2014/02/22/your-husband-doesnt-have-to-earn-your-respect/
To God be the glory, forever and ever, Amen!
Wednesday, 26 February 2014
Saturday, 1 February 2014
How to Raise a Pagan Kid in a Christian Home
I came across this link on Facebook, and wanted to share it. I want to share it with every Christian parent/Sunday School teacher/Youth Leader out there, actually.
It's a plague in Evangelical churches currently that moralism is the end goal of Children's Ministry. Our goal needs to be so much more than to raise well-behaved children. Our goal should be to teach our kids that they need God, that He alone can save, and that He should be the center of all they do.
Check out what Restore Ministries has to say on this: http://restore-ministries.org/raise-pagan-kid-christian-home/
To God be the glory, forever and ever, Amen!
It's a plague in Evangelical churches currently that moralism is the end goal of Children's Ministry. Our goal needs to be so much more than to raise well-behaved children. Our goal should be to teach our kids that they need God, that He alone can save, and that He should be the center of all they do.
Check out what Restore Ministries has to say on this: http://restore-ministries.org/raise-pagan-kid-christian-home/
To God be the glory, forever and ever, Amen!
Thursday, 23 January 2014
The Practical Side of Being Intentional
In our last post we talked about being Intentional regarding our children's Christian life. If we find it beneficial to invest in our children's artistic, physical or intellectual growth, we should find it infinitely more important to set aside time to help them understand Biblical truth, and to come to know God's character through what He has revealed to us in His holy word.
But intention, without action, falls short. We may desire to help our kids learn scripture, and we may plan for them to engage in devotional times and great family conversations, but if we never sit down to teach them, or set aside time to do devotions with them, or even initiate those conversations, we have still achieved nothing.
So today's post is going to reflect on practical ideas, for how we can move from simply intending to teach our children about God, to actively pursuing these things with them. Some of these will be routine actions - things that you can do on a daily basis. Some of them will be opportunity actions - things that you do out of the norm, but still intentionally. See which ones you can start doing in your household (and work towards trying them all!)
*The first point is quite simple: read the Bible to your children. Make a point of doing this regularly, from the time they are born. A child under the age of 5 likely cannot read the scriptures for themselves, but God equipped them with an insatiable desire to be told stories - which fortunately, the Bible is filled with. I highly recommend the Jesus Storybook Bible, which helps tie in each Biblical story to the gospel, elevating these from mere feel-good stories, to snapshots of God's great rescue plan for His beloved people.
Tip: remind your kids that the stories they hear from the Bible are really true. This can easily be lost on kids who are used to hearing so many made-up stories, and watching cartoons where unbelievable things happen. But the great part about Bible stories is that just because they seem unbelievable, doesn't mean they are! It just demonstrates how great God is!
*If your children are coming to an age where they are old enough to read, help them learn by reading scripture. This is a classic way to teach children to read, and it will also help with memorization. I encourage you to get your children their own Bibles that they can read directly out of, rather than printing out individual verses on sheets. It will help your children become familiar with how the Bible is laid out, where they can find different stories, and it will become an exciting thing for them to read their 'very own Bible'. Some translations are easier to read than others, but remember, young kids are capable of learning big words, and this will also assist them as they transition to sitting in service for the sermons; if they've read the words themselves, they'll understand them as they come up in service.
* Read Christian literature. The Chronicles of Narnia are very popular in Christian homes as they serve as a great teaching platform. Abridged and illustrated versions of Pilgrim's Progress are available. These can either be read aloud, or given to older kids for their own reading time. It's recreational reading, with real substance.
*Ask your young kids what they want to learn about. We do this when we are on long drives with our family. Sometimes the topic is airplanes, or sea creatures, or trees, or planets, but no matter what your children choose to learn about, ensure you teach it to them on the basis of acknowledging a Sovereign God. For example: while talking about why giraffes have long necks, explain, "God designed giraffes to have long necks so that they could reach the leaves on tall trees," or if you're discussing trains, say, "God gave people the supplies and the knowledge they would need to build trains. He helped people figure out how to make trains go, so that people could get to different places faster." God is the centre of all things, and we can help our kids understand this; nothing that they can learn about is apart from God - He created all things so we can praise Him and glorify Him while we teach our children about anything.
*Don't wait for the Sunday School teacher to teach your children memory verses. It will happen, but it can happen much more effectively in the home. Set up sticker charts and weekly verses for your children to work on. Quiz them over meal times, and help teach them actions to some of the verses to aid in memorization. And this is not just for younger kids. Challenge your older kids to learn more than a verse at a time. Aim for a Chapter. Reward your children well for this skill. Once they grow out of stickers, move up to funding a trip to the movies with a friend, or taking them out for Laser Tag or mini golf.
*Teach your children catechisms. Scripture memorization is wonderful, and key to spiritual growth and understanding. However, we can support our understanding of Biblical truths through learning catechisms, which are in a Question and Answer form, and highlight key doctrines in to-the-point ways. While my 4 year old may not be able to currently recall all of the corresponding scriptures, he can tell you that there is, "One God, and three Persons," in the Trinity. As your kids get older, help them to learn to study the Scriptural support for each catechism question. It's easy to bring up catechism conversationally. Ask them a question, listen to their answer, then teach them the written answer. Continue to ask them this question on a regular basis until they consistently get it right. It becomes a bit of a game in our household, a bit like Jeopardy. City Chapel has illustrated booklets of the Westminster Shorter Catechism for Kids that are available for each household.
*Use times of discipline to emphasize to your children God's love, and grace. Kids sin. This is no surprise - we all sin. But each time they sin, it's an opportunity for us, their parents, to help them turn away from that sin, and turn to God instead. While disciplining your children, explain that they not only broke a rule from Mommy and Daddy, but that they also broke one of God's rules. But don't stop there. Explain that the wages of sin is death, but that Jesus paid that for us. It's important that our children understand from an early age that they are bad, and that they need a Saviour, and it is likewise important that they understand that Saviour has come, and the ransom has been paid. After talking with your children, help them to pray to God, asking for forgiveness, and thanking Him for sending His son to save us. Get your kids to pray so they get used to talking to God. With older kids, use scripture to help convict your children of their wrong behaviour. For example, Romans 12:10 instructs, "Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor." Ask your older kids if they feel their actions aligned with the "Marks of the True Christian" that are outlined around this verse. Help them to see that their actions were not in accordance with the Bible's instruction, pray over them that God would convict them, and ask God for His hand and guidance in their lives.
* Another built-in teaching time for children is when they are afraid. Be it the dark, the noisy wind, or imaginary monsters, you can teach them the God is the 'biggest and the best' and that they don't need to be afraid because God is always in control. Make sure you don't say, "so nothing bad will ever happen"... that just not true. But help them to know that God is always with us, no matter what, and that if He made the wind, or the thunder, that He can control it. Then pray with your kids and ask that God will take away the cause of their fears and comfort them.
*Sing hymns together. Many songs we sing in church are easy for children to learn, and quite catchy. I noticed how quickly my kids could pick up on them while I was practicing to lead Sunday worship one week - by the time I had learned the song comfortably enough to lead, my kids could belt out the chorus easily! If you don't sing in your house often, play worship CDs. Kids will be fond of the music their parents listen to, and they'll learn the words, so be mindful about using that gift to their advantage (read: let them learn worship lyrics rather than the lyrics to Katy Perry songs.)
* Have Bible theme days in your home. This is a great idea, especially if your kids aren't yet school age, or if they homeschool. Read the Bible story and then work the story elements into your day. Some ideas:
Daniel and the Lions Den - play with stuffed animal lions, petting them, and let them go to bed for nap time. Talk about how Daniel didn't need to fear them.
Noah and the Ark - count your toy animals, go over the names of each animal, and build a cardboard ark for them. Paint pictures of a rainbow.
Fishers of Men - play fishing games (build your own by cutting out paper shapes and putting paper clips on them, then attaching a magnet to the end of a string on a pole), teach them the song Fishers of Men, and eat tuna for lunch!
The Wise Man Built His House upon the Rock - great for the beach - collect rocks and set a toy on top. When you pour water over the rocks will stand. Then build up a heap of sand, put the toy on, and dump a pail of water on that, and watch the sand be swept away!
* Witness to your community together. Kids brought up in Christian homes can sometimes be unaware that some people don't know or love God. Explain that we should want to help these people know God, and that we can help show God's love by serving. Let them help you shovel walks, bring bottles of water or slurpees to road construction sites, make cookies for neighbours, and write cards for politicians.
* One idea that came out of our Sunday School Curriculum training in the Fall was to have touchstones for your family - tangible things that remind us of God's faithfulness. Maybe it could be trees we plant in our yard as reminder to say thanks for a specific blessing - then every time we look at the trees we can be reminded to thank God. Or maybe you have a prayer photo album, filled with people we want to pray for, or fun times we can praise God for. Maybe start a box of items that you collect on family outings so that you can go through them regularly and remember the blessings of those days.
* Teach your children about God in your own life. We've talked about how children love stories. Tell them some of your own story. Recount to your children the ways God has moved in your life, so they come to understand God is real, and He still works today. It will also help your kids to see God's hand in their own lives.
* Start a bedtime routine. Most kids need a scheduled bed time, so take advantage of this and make it into a teaching time. Read your Bible story now. Pray with your kids. Go over memory verses. Do it together as a family, so that they know this is something special. Make it a daily thing.
* Send your kids to a Christian school. Now, this one might make some people upset. Christian school is not essential to raising a Christian child. Jesus + Nothing = Everything. However, we need to acknowledge our role as the primary teachers in our children's lives; we are responsible for everything our children accept as true. That doesn't mean we'll be the only ones teaching them, but that we need to be accountable for what they are taught. If we say we want to be intentional about teaching our children that God made all things, and all things are to glorify God, and then they go to a non-Christian school where this foundational truth isn't acknowledged - or is even openly discredited - we are responsible for the confusion our children will inevitably feel. Just because our kids go to Christian school does not mean we can relax our watch on what our children are learning, but if they are under Christian authority at school, many things will be easier in regards to their Christian education.
Enrolling your child in a Christian school may not always be a viable option - private schools are often outside the financial reach of many households, and Christian schools in the public sector fill up quickly. Aside from homeschooling, you may be out of options. It is not sinful to send your child to public school. But you must retain your role as their primary teacher, and help them filter through the bad information they will come home with. Regardless of where our children are educated, we need to sit down with them every day and discuss what happened at school that day, and what they learned. And just like when they were preschoolers in the car on a long road trip, help them to see everything through the knowledge that we have a Sovereign God, that created all things for His glory.
* Pray with your kids. And over your kids. And for your kids. And for yourself, that you might know how to lead your kids. Pray continually.
We can do nothing good, but by God's grace. If you have good intentions, but find it hard to move those plans to action, pray that God will help you with this. And even when we are moved to action, even if we do everything possible to teach our children about God, our children cannot come to God without Him stirring their hearts first. But we can have faith in our Just God, that even when we stumble, even when we fail miserably, He is gracious and will carry out all things according to His will.
To God be the glory, forever and ever, Amen.
But intention, without action, falls short. We may desire to help our kids learn scripture, and we may plan for them to engage in devotional times and great family conversations, but if we never sit down to teach them, or set aside time to do devotions with them, or even initiate those conversations, we have still achieved nothing.
So today's post is going to reflect on practical ideas, for how we can move from simply intending to teach our children about God, to actively pursuing these things with them. Some of these will be routine actions - things that you can do on a daily basis. Some of them will be opportunity actions - things that you do out of the norm, but still intentionally. See which ones you can start doing in your household (and work towards trying them all!)
*The first point is quite simple: read the Bible to your children. Make a point of doing this regularly, from the time they are born. A child under the age of 5 likely cannot read the scriptures for themselves, but God equipped them with an insatiable desire to be told stories - which fortunately, the Bible is filled with. I highly recommend the Jesus Storybook Bible, which helps tie in each Biblical story to the gospel, elevating these from mere feel-good stories, to snapshots of God's great rescue plan for His beloved people.
Tip: remind your kids that the stories they hear from the Bible are really true. This can easily be lost on kids who are used to hearing so many made-up stories, and watching cartoons where unbelievable things happen. But the great part about Bible stories is that just because they seem unbelievable, doesn't mean they are! It just demonstrates how great God is!
*If your children are coming to an age where they are old enough to read, help them learn by reading scripture. This is a classic way to teach children to read, and it will also help with memorization. I encourage you to get your children their own Bibles that they can read directly out of, rather than printing out individual verses on sheets. It will help your children become familiar with how the Bible is laid out, where they can find different stories, and it will become an exciting thing for them to read their 'very own Bible'. Some translations are easier to read than others, but remember, young kids are capable of learning big words, and this will also assist them as they transition to sitting in service for the sermons; if they've read the words themselves, they'll understand them as they come up in service.
* Read Christian literature. The Chronicles of Narnia are very popular in Christian homes as they serve as a great teaching platform. Abridged and illustrated versions of Pilgrim's Progress are available. These can either be read aloud, or given to older kids for their own reading time. It's recreational reading, with real substance.
*Ask your young kids what they want to learn about. We do this when we are on long drives with our family. Sometimes the topic is airplanes, or sea creatures, or trees, or planets, but no matter what your children choose to learn about, ensure you teach it to them on the basis of acknowledging a Sovereign God. For example: while talking about why giraffes have long necks, explain, "God designed giraffes to have long necks so that they could reach the leaves on tall trees," or if you're discussing trains, say, "God gave people the supplies and the knowledge they would need to build trains. He helped people figure out how to make trains go, so that people could get to different places faster." God is the centre of all things, and we can help our kids understand this; nothing that they can learn about is apart from God - He created all things so we can praise Him and glorify Him while we teach our children about anything.
*Don't wait for the Sunday School teacher to teach your children memory verses. It will happen, but it can happen much more effectively in the home. Set up sticker charts and weekly verses for your children to work on. Quiz them over meal times, and help teach them actions to some of the verses to aid in memorization. And this is not just for younger kids. Challenge your older kids to learn more than a verse at a time. Aim for a Chapter. Reward your children well for this skill. Once they grow out of stickers, move up to funding a trip to the movies with a friend, or taking them out for Laser Tag or mini golf.
*Teach your children catechisms. Scripture memorization is wonderful, and key to spiritual growth and understanding. However, we can support our understanding of Biblical truths through learning catechisms, which are in a Question and Answer form, and highlight key doctrines in to-the-point ways. While my 4 year old may not be able to currently recall all of the corresponding scriptures, he can tell you that there is, "One God, and three Persons," in the Trinity. As your kids get older, help them to learn to study the Scriptural support for each catechism question. It's easy to bring up catechism conversationally. Ask them a question, listen to their answer, then teach them the written answer. Continue to ask them this question on a regular basis until they consistently get it right. It becomes a bit of a game in our household, a bit like Jeopardy. City Chapel has illustrated booklets of the Westminster Shorter Catechism for Kids that are available for each household.
*Use times of discipline to emphasize to your children God's love, and grace. Kids sin. This is no surprise - we all sin. But each time they sin, it's an opportunity for us, their parents, to help them turn away from that sin, and turn to God instead. While disciplining your children, explain that they not only broke a rule from Mommy and Daddy, but that they also broke one of God's rules. But don't stop there. Explain that the wages of sin is death, but that Jesus paid that for us. It's important that our children understand from an early age that they are bad, and that they need a Saviour, and it is likewise important that they understand that Saviour has come, and the ransom has been paid. After talking with your children, help them to pray to God, asking for forgiveness, and thanking Him for sending His son to save us. Get your kids to pray so they get used to talking to God. With older kids, use scripture to help convict your children of their wrong behaviour. For example, Romans 12:10 instructs, "Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor." Ask your older kids if they feel their actions aligned with the "Marks of the True Christian" that are outlined around this verse. Help them to see that their actions were not in accordance with the Bible's instruction, pray over them that God would convict them, and ask God for His hand and guidance in their lives.
* Another built-in teaching time for children is when they are afraid. Be it the dark, the noisy wind, or imaginary monsters, you can teach them the God is the 'biggest and the best' and that they don't need to be afraid because God is always in control. Make sure you don't say, "so nothing bad will ever happen"... that just not true. But help them to know that God is always with us, no matter what, and that if He made the wind, or the thunder, that He can control it. Then pray with your kids and ask that God will take away the cause of their fears and comfort them.
*Sing hymns together. Many songs we sing in church are easy for children to learn, and quite catchy. I noticed how quickly my kids could pick up on them while I was practicing to lead Sunday worship one week - by the time I had learned the song comfortably enough to lead, my kids could belt out the chorus easily! If you don't sing in your house often, play worship CDs. Kids will be fond of the music their parents listen to, and they'll learn the words, so be mindful about using that gift to their advantage (read: let them learn worship lyrics rather than the lyrics to Katy Perry songs.)
* Have Bible theme days in your home. This is a great idea, especially if your kids aren't yet school age, or if they homeschool. Read the Bible story and then work the story elements into your day. Some ideas:
Daniel and the Lions Den - play with stuffed animal lions, petting them, and let them go to bed for nap time. Talk about how Daniel didn't need to fear them.
Noah and the Ark - count your toy animals, go over the names of each animal, and build a cardboard ark for them. Paint pictures of a rainbow.
Fishers of Men - play fishing games (build your own by cutting out paper shapes and putting paper clips on them, then attaching a magnet to the end of a string on a pole), teach them the song Fishers of Men, and eat tuna for lunch!
The Wise Man Built His House upon the Rock - great for the beach - collect rocks and set a toy on top. When you pour water over the rocks will stand. Then build up a heap of sand, put the toy on, and dump a pail of water on that, and watch the sand be swept away!
* Witness to your community together. Kids brought up in Christian homes can sometimes be unaware that some people don't know or love God. Explain that we should want to help these people know God, and that we can help show God's love by serving. Let them help you shovel walks, bring bottles of water or slurpees to road construction sites, make cookies for neighbours, and write cards for politicians.
* One idea that came out of our Sunday School Curriculum training in the Fall was to have touchstones for your family - tangible things that remind us of God's faithfulness. Maybe it could be trees we plant in our yard as reminder to say thanks for a specific blessing - then every time we look at the trees we can be reminded to thank God. Or maybe you have a prayer photo album, filled with people we want to pray for, or fun times we can praise God for. Maybe start a box of items that you collect on family outings so that you can go through them regularly and remember the blessings of those days.
* Teach your children about God in your own life. We've talked about how children love stories. Tell them some of your own story. Recount to your children the ways God has moved in your life, so they come to understand God is real, and He still works today. It will also help your kids to see God's hand in their own lives.
* Start a bedtime routine. Most kids need a scheduled bed time, so take advantage of this and make it into a teaching time. Read your Bible story now. Pray with your kids. Go over memory verses. Do it together as a family, so that they know this is something special. Make it a daily thing.
* Send your kids to a Christian school. Now, this one might make some people upset. Christian school is not essential to raising a Christian child. Jesus + Nothing = Everything. However, we need to acknowledge our role as the primary teachers in our children's lives; we are responsible for everything our children accept as true. That doesn't mean we'll be the only ones teaching them, but that we need to be accountable for what they are taught. If we say we want to be intentional about teaching our children that God made all things, and all things are to glorify God, and then they go to a non-Christian school where this foundational truth isn't acknowledged - or is even openly discredited - we are responsible for the confusion our children will inevitably feel. Just because our kids go to Christian school does not mean we can relax our watch on what our children are learning, but if they are under Christian authority at school, many things will be easier in regards to their Christian education.
Enrolling your child in a Christian school may not always be a viable option - private schools are often outside the financial reach of many households, and Christian schools in the public sector fill up quickly. Aside from homeschooling, you may be out of options. It is not sinful to send your child to public school. But you must retain your role as their primary teacher, and help them filter through the bad information they will come home with. Regardless of where our children are educated, we need to sit down with them every day and discuss what happened at school that day, and what they learned. And just like when they were preschoolers in the car on a long road trip, help them to see everything through the knowledge that we have a Sovereign God, that created all things for His glory.
* Pray with your kids. And over your kids. And for your kids. And for yourself, that you might know how to lead your kids. Pray continually.
We can do nothing good, but by God's grace. If you have good intentions, but find it hard to move those plans to action, pray that God will help you with this. And even when we are moved to action, even if we do everything possible to teach our children about God, our children cannot come to God without Him stirring their hearts first. But we can have faith in our Just God, that even when we stumble, even when we fail miserably, He is gracious and will carry out all things according to His will.
To God be the glory, forever and ever, Amen.
Tuesday, 7 January 2014
Intentional
I love music. I always have. Something inside of me swells when I hear a gorgeous song, sung by a choir, or even an intricate chord wrought with beauty. I've participated in musically based programs for nearly my whole life: children's choirs, school choirs, honors choirs in high school, all while learning instruments on my own time outside of organized programming.
Music is important to me, so obviously I hope that it will be important to my kids.
Perhaps music isn't your thing, though. But maybe art? Dancing? Cooking? Reading? There are things which we enjoy in our lives, that we want our children to learn to appreciate and be adept in, so we often go out of our way to nurture their existing skills, and to impart what wisdom we've garnered in our years of study.
Our interest in these matters compels us to actively teach our children about them. And since we desire our children to be well-rounded individuals, there are a number of other activities we want them to have exposure to; we put our kids in swimming lessons, or dance classes - we sit down with our spouses when the Community Activities books come in the mail and go over what skills we want our kids to develop, knowing that without active, intentional pursuit, many of those skills will not be grasped.
As our children enter school the curriculum states more things which society has deemed deserving of constant effort to ensure comprehension: math, science, languages, health...
There is nothing wrong with this approach. It is, in fact, wise and admirable to plan for who we want our children to become, and to set out intentionally to help them achieve that goal. We want them to be able to swim, so they go into those swimming lessons. We want them to be able to play piano, so we set aside time each week to teach them the notes. We want them to understand how the world functions so that they can find employment and eventually become self-sufficient, so we place them in school.
And above all, we should desire our children to love God, wholeheartedly, and to be equipped to serve God in whatever capacity He has called them to. But is this something we are being intentional about?
Back in October a representative from Great Commission Publishing came to City Chapel to do a training session with parents and teachers regarding the new curriculum, but the wisdom in his session reached beyond just the Sunday School setting. If we want our children to learn something, we need to be intentional about teaching it to them. Are we placing a higher priority on swimming, horseback riding and even reading than we are on our children knowing God's love and the truths in His word?
Scripture tells us, "Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it." (Proverbs 22:6) It doesn't say, "hope a child comes to love God," or, "pray for the best, and stand back to see what happens." It tells us to train them, like you would an athlete. Using repetition, method, order and hard work.
Deuteronomy 6:7 says, "You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise." Diligently. In earnest. Intentionally. At every opportunity, but also making opportunities.
Sunday School programs work to teach our children how to understand God's word, to know foundational truths about God, His character, and His promises, and to prepare them to receive teaching in a sermon format. But this is only one hour a week. We can't hope that our children will become proficient in scripture memorization when they only focus on that in Sunday School for 10 minutes (maybe) of the one-hour, once-a-week class. If we want our children to know God, to arm themselves with the, "Sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God," (Eph. 6:17) and to build their lives upon Him, then let us intentionally help them in that cause by setting aside time, and making the effort to teach them about their Heavenly Father.
I will be working to compile a list of practical ways we can teach our children in our homes. If you have any ideas, please put them in the comment section so they can be added in the next blog post!
To God be the Glory, forever and ever, Amen!
Music is important to me, so obviously I hope that it will be important to my kids.
Perhaps music isn't your thing, though. But maybe art? Dancing? Cooking? Reading? There are things which we enjoy in our lives, that we want our children to learn to appreciate and be adept in, so we often go out of our way to nurture their existing skills, and to impart what wisdom we've garnered in our years of study.
Our interest in these matters compels us to actively teach our children about them. And since we desire our children to be well-rounded individuals, there are a number of other activities we want them to have exposure to; we put our kids in swimming lessons, or dance classes - we sit down with our spouses when the Community Activities books come in the mail and go over what skills we want our kids to develop, knowing that without active, intentional pursuit, many of those skills will not be grasped.
As our children enter school the curriculum states more things which society has deemed deserving of constant effort to ensure comprehension: math, science, languages, health...
There is nothing wrong with this approach. It is, in fact, wise and admirable to plan for who we want our children to become, and to set out intentionally to help them achieve that goal. We want them to be able to swim, so they go into those swimming lessons. We want them to be able to play piano, so we set aside time each week to teach them the notes. We want them to understand how the world functions so that they can find employment and eventually become self-sufficient, so we place them in school.
And above all, we should desire our children to love God, wholeheartedly, and to be equipped to serve God in whatever capacity He has called them to. But is this something we are being intentional about?
Back in October a representative from Great Commission Publishing came to City Chapel to do a training session with parents and teachers regarding the new curriculum, but the wisdom in his session reached beyond just the Sunday School setting. If we want our children to learn something, we need to be intentional about teaching it to them. Are we placing a higher priority on swimming, horseback riding and even reading than we are on our children knowing God's love and the truths in His word?
Scripture tells us, "Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it." (Proverbs 22:6) It doesn't say, "hope a child comes to love God," or, "pray for the best, and stand back to see what happens." It tells us to train them, like you would an athlete. Using repetition, method, order and hard work.
Deuteronomy 6:7 says, "You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise." Diligently. In earnest. Intentionally. At every opportunity, but also making opportunities.
Sunday School programs work to teach our children how to understand God's word, to know foundational truths about God, His character, and His promises, and to prepare them to receive teaching in a sermon format. But this is only one hour a week. We can't hope that our children will become proficient in scripture memorization when they only focus on that in Sunday School for 10 minutes (maybe) of the one-hour, once-a-week class. If we want our children to know God, to arm themselves with the, "Sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God," (Eph. 6:17) and to build their lives upon Him, then let us intentionally help them in that cause by setting aside time, and making the effort to teach them about their Heavenly Father.
I will be working to compile a list of practical ways we can teach our children in our homes. If you have any ideas, please put them in the comment section so they can be added in the next blog post!
To God be the Glory, forever and ever, Amen!
Wednesday, 9 October 2013
A Prayer for the Worried Mom's Heart
As a Mother it can seem impossible to get away from anxiety. But that's not how we are called to live.
Here is a great blog post from Desiring God: A Prayer for the Worried Mom's Heart.
To God be the glory, forever and ever, Amen!
Here is a great blog post from Desiring God: A Prayer for the Worried Mom's Heart.
To God be the glory, forever and ever, Amen!
Wednesday, 2 October 2013
He Has Blessed Us
We are so blessed. So, so blessed.
I think the extent to which we are blessed is too often overlooked. Perhaps once or twice a year we really dwell on our blessings, quite often around Thanksgiving, or maybe Christmas. But those times can be oddly distorting to our perception of the many gifts in our lives. Sometime we are so blinded by our good health, our good fortune, and our bounty of friends and good food, that we never get past those more-tangible blessings and gaze upon the more subtle, and more profound ones.
For example, we need to remember that we are blessed by God to be in possession of our good intentions, our desires to serve and any wisdom we attain. If we are eager to learn more about God and His character, He has bestowed that desire upon us. If we are consistent and fervent in our studying, He has gifted us with that steadiness. And when we learn more about who He is and His truths, He has revealed that to us.
We are blessed to have a God who holds us so dearly, that He insists on disciplining us, as a Father disciplines his children. Oft times in the modern church, the idea that God disciplines us is viewed as archaic and brutish. But discipline isn't the work of a brute: it's the work of a God who will not suffer those He loves to ever fall away from His hold. It isn't beating us down until we submit, but rather helping us attain a desire to submit to His perfect ways. Shane & Shane's song Though You Slay Me beautifully depicts this in their lyrics: "You strike down to bind me up, You say You do it all in love, that I might know You in Your suffering."
This discipline "yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it," (Heb. 12:11) and is a gift to us, because those who are left without discipline, scripture refers to as illegitimate children, and not sons (Heb. 12:8). We are instructed to, "endure hardship as discipline," and that hardship may come in many forms, but when it comes we need to examine what in our lives God may need to correct us in, to respond appropriately with repentance and reformation, and to thank the Lord for His faithful love which is not content to allow us to continue in our sinful ways.
We are blessed by what God teaches us through our trials. When money is tight, we should praise God for the lesson in stewardship! When we feel unappreciated and like we're the only ones striving to keep the house clean, we can thank the Lord for the chance to embrace a true servant's heart. When we encounter issues with out health, or our children's health, perhaps God is helping us to understand how to cope, so that in turn we can be blessed to assist others when they are faced with similar issues.
We are blessed by the gifts God gives us, even though we sometimes forget how badly we want them. As a mother of young children, by about the seventh time the toddler is screaming at only 9:30 a.m., it can occasionally be tricky to remember that we want to stay home with our children and raise them, but God hasn't forgotten. He knows that's where our hearts lie. And when we're picking up that cup on the counter that somehow, yet again, evaded being put in the empty dishwasher by our spouse once he was done with it, God knows that we're infinitely happier having that spouse in our lives, than we would be if he were taken away (dirty dishes and all). And on those good days when our husbands are affectionate and helpful, and our children's faces, and attitudes, are shining and cherub-like, it's infinitely easier to be grateful for them, but even in those moments of frustration, they are still a blessing, and the opportunity to walk with them through the most stressful times are a blessing in themselves.
Turkey and fun times aside, we are richly blessed, and sometimes we are so blessed that we are blinded by our wealth. But in reality, if we were left with our turkeys, and our friends, and our warm houses and nice clothes, but without these gifts of greater importance and our eternal inheritance, we would be utterly destitute. So it's funny, in a very sad way, that it's often much easier to be grateful for the tangible gifts we have than the eternal ones.
Every breath, every moment, every joy, and every trial, is a gift to us from God. He is Sovereign in what He had brought to us in our lives, and we are responsible for how we respond to those opportunities.
So rejoice in the Lord always; again I say, rejoice - He has richly blessed us.
To God be the glory, forever and ever, Amen.
I think the extent to which we are blessed is too often overlooked. Perhaps once or twice a year we really dwell on our blessings, quite often around Thanksgiving, or maybe Christmas. But those times can be oddly distorting to our perception of the many gifts in our lives. Sometime we are so blinded by our good health, our good fortune, and our bounty of friends and good food, that we never get past those more-tangible blessings and gaze upon the more subtle, and more profound ones.
For example, we need to remember that we are blessed by God to be in possession of our good intentions, our desires to serve and any wisdom we attain. If we are eager to learn more about God and His character, He has bestowed that desire upon us. If we are consistent and fervent in our studying, He has gifted us with that steadiness. And when we learn more about who He is and His truths, He has revealed that to us.
We are blessed to have a God who holds us so dearly, that He insists on disciplining us, as a Father disciplines his children. Oft times in the modern church, the idea that God disciplines us is viewed as archaic and brutish. But discipline isn't the work of a brute: it's the work of a God who will not suffer those He loves to ever fall away from His hold. It isn't beating us down until we submit, but rather helping us attain a desire to submit to His perfect ways. Shane & Shane's song Though You Slay Me beautifully depicts this in their lyrics: "You strike down to bind me up, You say You do it all in love, that I might know You in Your suffering."
This discipline "yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it," (Heb. 12:11) and is a gift to us, because those who are left without discipline, scripture refers to as illegitimate children, and not sons (Heb. 12:8). We are instructed to, "endure hardship as discipline," and that hardship may come in many forms, but when it comes we need to examine what in our lives God may need to correct us in, to respond appropriately with repentance and reformation, and to thank the Lord for His faithful love which is not content to allow us to continue in our sinful ways.
We are blessed by what God teaches us through our trials. When money is tight, we should praise God for the lesson in stewardship! When we feel unappreciated and like we're the only ones striving to keep the house clean, we can thank the Lord for the chance to embrace a true servant's heart. When we encounter issues with out health, or our children's health, perhaps God is helping us to understand how to cope, so that in turn we can be blessed to assist others when they are faced with similar issues.
We are blessed by the gifts God gives us, even though we sometimes forget how badly we want them. As a mother of young children, by about the seventh time the toddler is screaming at only 9:30 a.m., it can occasionally be tricky to remember that we want to stay home with our children and raise them, but God hasn't forgotten. He knows that's where our hearts lie. And when we're picking up that cup on the counter that somehow, yet again, evaded being put in the empty dishwasher by our spouse once he was done with it, God knows that we're infinitely happier having that spouse in our lives, than we would be if he were taken away (dirty dishes and all). And on those good days when our husbands are affectionate and helpful, and our children's faces, and attitudes, are shining and cherub-like, it's infinitely easier to be grateful for them, but even in those moments of frustration, they are still a blessing, and the opportunity to walk with them through the most stressful times are a blessing in themselves.
Turkey and fun times aside, we are richly blessed, and sometimes we are so blessed that we are blinded by our wealth. But in reality, if we were left with our turkeys, and our friends, and our warm houses and nice clothes, but without these gifts of greater importance and our eternal inheritance, we would be utterly destitute. So it's funny, in a very sad way, that it's often much easier to be grateful for the tangible gifts we have than the eternal ones.
Every breath, every moment, every joy, and every trial, is a gift to us from God. He is Sovereign in what He had brought to us in our lives, and we are responsible for how we respond to those opportunities.
So rejoice in the Lord always; again I say, rejoice - He has richly blessed us.
To God be the glory, forever and ever, Amen.
Monday, 10 June 2013
The Submissive Wife
This week at City Chapel, our sermon focused on Ephesians 5:22-23, which reads, "Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior."
The elder who spoke this week did a fantastic job clarifying this portion of scripture as he illustrated some of the ways that the idea of submission is misconstrued; biblical submission is not mindlessly following, it is not an open invitation to abuse of authority, it should not be pushed back against by extreme ideas of feminism... You can download or listen to the whole sermon, dated June 9th, 2013, here.
Through the sermon, a number of quotes were mentioned which depicted the depraved way the world views "submission". This encouraged me to write about what Biblical submission truly looks like, in a practical way; we know as wives that we are called to submit, but sometimes it can be confusing to figure out just how to do that.
First off, I want to point out that we are called to be submissive not just with our actions, but also with our thoughts and our intentions. Typically as women within the church, we consider 'serve' and 'submit' to go hand-in-hand, and very often they do. As we embrace our roles as Keepers of the home, and submit to that position that our husbands encourage us in, very often service is the practical way that we submit. But it's not enough to do the chores that make up part of our role - we need to submit in our hearts, as much as we submit our time and energy.
We may applaud ourselves for cleaning the much-dreaded bathroom floor, and consider that as an act of submission, since it obviously wasn't an act of indulgence, but the reality is that if we complete such tasks while grumbling, expecting recognition and cursing our family members for making such a mess in the first place, those tasks are degraded to being only an act of service (in the most surface-level interpretation of the word), and no longer resemble submission, or worship, or much of anything good. Yah, your house might be clean, but to whose glory and benefit?
We can often figure out on our own that part of submitting to our husbands is submitting our time and undertaking the role which we find ourselves in, but it's not merely about doing the chores. We are called to submit in our hearts, joyfully embracing our roles and seeking to honor our husbands through our accomplishments. No grumbling. No praise-seeking. Just doing the service, but with a servant's heart. So as we go about our duties, we need to take care to perform them not only well, but willingly, and gladly. We aren't called to begrudging submission, but true, heart-felt, and willing submission.
Another way in which we can practically submit to our husbands is in the little differences of opinions we may have in our households. You like the walls blue, he likes them burnt orange. Is this a big deal? Not really. Can people make it into a big deal? Absolutely, and we do all the time. It's almost as if because it's a small deal, people feel justified in fighting about it. "We'd never fight about the big things like religion or how to raise our children - this is just about paint colors." Or often, there's not even a fight - the wife just decides, doesn't consult the husband, or doesn't listen to his opinion when it is offered up. Because we tend to spend more time in the home, we feel like it's our right to dictate how the home will work and how it will look.
Here's a tip: let the walls be burnt orange. This isn't about letting your husband win. This is a marriage, not a competition to see whose will is the strongest; there should be no 'winning' in a marriage, because if there is, then someone is 'losing'. Instead, this is about honoring our husband's preferences, considering their desires and seeking to please them, even through submission of our own tastes, preferences or desires. It's not just house colors. It's meals, what you do on dates, what hangs on your walls, how you spend your free time. This does not mean that you never get to do what you would prefer - because the beautiful thing about a marriage which portrays Biblical submission is that the husband is called to submit to wife as well (Ephesians 5:21). Once you have both offered up your opinions, you can either choose to submit to his preference 100% off the bat, seek to find a common ground that you can both agree on, or respectfully apply to him to consent to your preference. And if he has a real issue with letting you paint the walls blue - back off it. This is where the hardest part of submission comes in: submitting to our husband's will and desires when we truly dislike where those fall.
When should we not submit to our husbands? When what they are asking of us is contrary to what God is asking of us. Period. If it is harmful to you or someone else, if it is in violation of the law, or if it in any other way sinful, we are called to submit to God first, as our higher authority, and are in that instance exempt from submitting to our husbands. But painting the walls burnt orange is not sinful.
It might be an easy enough thing to let the walls be burnt orange. But what if the subject in question isn't paint colors, but rather where you are going to live? Or whether you go back to work after the kids go to school or you stay home still? Or whether you continue in a volunteer position or give it up? These are tough things to disagree about. Part of the reason is because it directly affects your life, and how you use your time and energy, and the world tells us that since it's our life, we should get to dictate what we do with it. But I hope by now we've learned to drown out what the world is saying.
Even if we feel very strongly about something, and we want something completely opposite from our husbands, instead of going into a head-butting stalemate where it turns into a waiting game to see who folds first, we are called to submit to the will of our husband. Allow them to lead the household, as they are the ones who are responsible to be the heads. The burden of the household's well-being falls first to the head, as one who will be held accountable. We need to trust our husbands. And if you submit to your husband in something, and it turns out that you were 'right' after all, and what you had suggested would have worked out better, you still would have glorified God through your submission and obedience, so you have still done the right thing.
If your husband is asking you to do something, but you see it as sinful or harmful, yet he does not, seek the counsel of a wise, Godly third-party. And if the third-party agrees with your husband, don't be bitter, but take the cue that it is now the time for you to submit your will to your husband. And remember, it's not your husband's job to break your will, which is abusive, but rather it's our job to submit our will, to the glory of God.
And as a closing note, what is a wife supposed to do if her husband is not a Godly man? Submit. Unless he is asking her to sin, a wife is always called to submit to her husband, Christian or not. Scripture even tells us this is the best way we can witness to our spouses if they are not believers. (1 Peter 3:1-2) I fully acknowledge that there will be people who disagree with these depictions of submission, but I believe that scripture is true, God-breathed, and our highest authority as God's own word, and wives are called to submit to their husbands repeatedly throughout the course of scripture. And if we can agree that we truly are to submit, it is important that we each strive to fully comprehend the depth of that call, past the surface-level interpretation which stops short at occasionally cleaning the bathroom when we don't really want to. Husbands and wives should seek to outdo each other in who can submit the most for the benefit of the other.
Our submission to our husbands on Earth is an act of worship to our Father in Heaven. And as our husbands lovingly strive to lead us and serve us as Christ is the head of the church, our marriages will become rich with blessing as we each stop thinking of our own benefit for the sake of our spouse's.
To God be the glory, forever and ever, Amen!
The elder who spoke this week did a fantastic job clarifying this portion of scripture as he illustrated some of the ways that the idea of submission is misconstrued; biblical submission is not mindlessly following, it is not an open invitation to abuse of authority, it should not be pushed back against by extreme ideas of feminism... You can download or listen to the whole sermon, dated June 9th, 2013, here.
Through the sermon, a number of quotes were mentioned which depicted the depraved way the world views "submission". This encouraged me to write about what Biblical submission truly looks like, in a practical way; we know as wives that we are called to submit, but sometimes it can be confusing to figure out just how to do that.
First off, I want to point out that we are called to be submissive not just with our actions, but also with our thoughts and our intentions. Typically as women within the church, we consider 'serve' and 'submit' to go hand-in-hand, and very often they do. As we embrace our roles as Keepers of the home, and submit to that position that our husbands encourage us in, very often service is the practical way that we submit. But it's not enough to do the chores that make up part of our role - we need to submit in our hearts, as much as we submit our time and energy.
We may applaud ourselves for cleaning the much-dreaded bathroom floor, and consider that as an act of submission, since it obviously wasn't an act of indulgence, but the reality is that if we complete such tasks while grumbling, expecting recognition and cursing our family members for making such a mess in the first place, those tasks are degraded to being only an act of service (in the most surface-level interpretation of the word), and no longer resemble submission, or worship, or much of anything good. Yah, your house might be clean, but to whose glory and benefit?
We can often figure out on our own that part of submitting to our husbands is submitting our time and undertaking the role which we find ourselves in, but it's not merely about doing the chores. We are called to submit in our hearts, joyfully embracing our roles and seeking to honor our husbands through our accomplishments. No grumbling. No praise-seeking. Just doing the service, but with a servant's heart. So as we go about our duties, we need to take care to perform them not only well, but willingly, and gladly. We aren't called to begrudging submission, but true, heart-felt, and willing submission.
Another way in which we can practically submit to our husbands is in the little differences of opinions we may have in our households. You like the walls blue, he likes them burnt orange. Is this a big deal? Not really. Can people make it into a big deal? Absolutely, and we do all the time. It's almost as if because it's a small deal, people feel justified in fighting about it. "We'd never fight about the big things like religion or how to raise our children - this is just about paint colors." Or often, there's not even a fight - the wife just decides, doesn't consult the husband, or doesn't listen to his opinion when it is offered up. Because we tend to spend more time in the home, we feel like it's our right to dictate how the home will work and how it will look.
Here's a tip: let the walls be burnt orange. This isn't about letting your husband win. This is a marriage, not a competition to see whose will is the strongest; there should be no 'winning' in a marriage, because if there is, then someone is 'losing'. Instead, this is about honoring our husband's preferences, considering their desires and seeking to please them, even through submission of our own tastes, preferences or desires. It's not just house colors. It's meals, what you do on dates, what hangs on your walls, how you spend your free time. This does not mean that you never get to do what you would prefer - because the beautiful thing about a marriage which portrays Biblical submission is that the husband is called to submit to wife as well (Ephesians 5:21). Once you have both offered up your opinions, you can either choose to submit to his preference 100% off the bat, seek to find a common ground that you can both agree on, or respectfully apply to him to consent to your preference. And if he has a real issue with letting you paint the walls blue - back off it. This is where the hardest part of submission comes in: submitting to our husband's will and desires when we truly dislike where those fall.
When should we not submit to our husbands? When what they are asking of us is contrary to what God is asking of us. Period. If it is harmful to you or someone else, if it is in violation of the law, or if it in any other way sinful, we are called to submit to God first, as our higher authority, and are in that instance exempt from submitting to our husbands. But painting the walls burnt orange is not sinful.
It might be an easy enough thing to let the walls be burnt orange. But what if the subject in question isn't paint colors, but rather where you are going to live? Or whether you go back to work after the kids go to school or you stay home still? Or whether you continue in a volunteer position or give it up? These are tough things to disagree about. Part of the reason is because it directly affects your life, and how you use your time and energy, and the world tells us that since it's our life, we should get to dictate what we do with it. But I hope by now we've learned to drown out what the world is saying.
Even if we feel very strongly about something, and we want something completely opposite from our husbands, instead of going into a head-butting stalemate where it turns into a waiting game to see who folds first, we are called to submit to the will of our husband. Allow them to lead the household, as they are the ones who are responsible to be the heads. The burden of the household's well-being falls first to the head, as one who will be held accountable. We need to trust our husbands. And if you submit to your husband in something, and it turns out that you were 'right' after all, and what you had suggested would have worked out better, you still would have glorified God through your submission and obedience, so you have still done the right thing.
If your husband is asking you to do something, but you see it as sinful or harmful, yet he does not, seek the counsel of a wise, Godly third-party. And if the third-party agrees with your husband, don't be bitter, but take the cue that it is now the time for you to submit your will to your husband. And remember, it's not your husband's job to break your will, which is abusive, but rather it's our job to submit our will, to the glory of God.
And as a closing note, what is a wife supposed to do if her husband is not a Godly man? Submit. Unless he is asking her to sin, a wife is always called to submit to her husband, Christian or not. Scripture even tells us this is the best way we can witness to our spouses if they are not believers. (1 Peter 3:1-2) I fully acknowledge that there will be people who disagree with these depictions of submission, but I believe that scripture is true, God-breathed, and our highest authority as God's own word, and wives are called to submit to their husbands repeatedly throughout the course of scripture. And if we can agree that we truly are to submit, it is important that we each strive to fully comprehend the depth of that call, past the surface-level interpretation which stops short at occasionally cleaning the bathroom when we don't really want to. Husbands and wives should seek to outdo each other in who can submit the most for the benefit of the other.
Our submission to our husbands on Earth is an act of worship to our Father in Heaven. And as our husbands lovingly strive to lead us and serve us as Christ is the head of the church, our marriages will become rich with blessing as we each stop thinking of our own benefit for the sake of our spouse's.
To God be the glory, forever and ever, Amen!
Wednesday, 22 May 2013
Real Food for the Spirit
As mothers and wives, we typically carry the responsibility of providing nourishing foods to our families. Many mothers are becoming increasingly aware, and vocal, about the benefits of whole foods, untainted by man-made chemicals or treatments. There is a very strong emphasis these days on organic, natural produce, and on abstaining from foods that are highly processed. We're becoming better at making sure things are safe for our families and will help our kids to grow.
But do we pay as much attention to our Spiritual nourishment as we do to our physical nourishment?
The bloggers at Keeper of the Home addressed this issue in a post recently, that I thought I'd share through here; check out their post, Real Food for the Spirit. We should all reflect on what we're putting into our own systems, and whether we're showing enough concern for nourishing our souls with God's truths, or if we're more prone to filling ourselves with superficial, processed 'food'. And it's a great time to remind ourselves that these are matters of eternal consequence - infinitely more important than whether we choose to eat grains or not - so while we are still called to be good stewards of our bodies by what we put into them, our spiritual well-being needs to hold the higher priority.
To God be the glory, forever and ever, Amen!
But do we pay as much attention to our Spiritual nourishment as we do to our physical nourishment?
The bloggers at Keeper of the Home addressed this issue in a post recently, that I thought I'd share through here; check out their post, Real Food for the Spirit. We should all reflect on what we're putting into our own systems, and whether we're showing enough concern for nourishing our souls with God's truths, or if we're more prone to filling ourselves with superficial, processed 'food'. And it's a great time to remind ourselves that these are matters of eternal consequence - infinitely more important than whether we choose to eat grains or not - so while we are still called to be good stewards of our bodies by what we put into them, our spiritual well-being needs to hold the higher priority.
To God be the glory, forever and ever, Amen!
Thursday, 16 May 2013
The Perfect Model
"The Lord is gracious and compassionate; slow to anger and rich in love." Psalm 145:8
I love this verse. Every time I read it - or very often sing it since it's been set to music in a popular worship song - I reflect on His grace and how His love endures in spite of all my failures. It's a beautiful reminder of how great God is as He deals with us.
But is this verse only to be used to acknowledge those attributes in God, or merely to take comfort as the objects of that grace? By all means we ought to embrace the comfort found in these truths - what would we be if it weren't for His love? But to stop there is to stop short, for, "All scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness." (2 Tim. 3:16) We need to seek the sanctifying truths in such verses and ask God to work in us through them.
Psalm 145:8 doesn't directly address us, but rather talks about those attributes of God. Of course, whenever we hear of God's grace, mercy, compassion and love we always think of ourselves because we are the recipients of that grace. But we aren't supposed to just rest as the recipients of such grace; we ought to strive to imitate and reflect it. As Christians, we ought to be in a constant state of purification and sanctification as we allow God to work in us through His Spirit, making us more like Him. If the Lord is gracious and compassionate, we ought to desire to be gracious and compassionate as well.
Where is one of the best areas to help refine these attributes in us? In our homes, raising our children.
What better encouragement towards being slow to anger than a toddler who you have just finished correcting, and then turns around and does the exact same thing again? Or a pre-schooler who is convinced they know what's best and who challenges our authority?
James reminds us that the trials we face will help bring us to a point of maturity and completion - "not lacking anything" (James 1:2-4). There are going to be rough patches raising children - we all know this. But we should be glad that the trials we do encounter are providing opportunities for us to learn to be gracious, compassionate, patient and loving like God.
Practically speaking, what do those traits look like in the home?
It means not blowing our tops when something gets spilled - sure it might be frustrating to have to deal with such a mess, but it was likely a result of carelessness, or even just a side-effect of a little guy growing so fast and not knowing how to handle it yet, and there was likely no sin committed, so we can hardly count our anger as righteous at such an instance.
It means forgiving our children when they have sinned and not holding it over them, making them dwell on their own shortcomings.
It means not losing it because it's 11:30 at night and they're still awake and calling us and we have things we need to do; putting aside our agenda to provide for them in the way they need and assuring them that they are precious to us - at all times of the night.
It means sitting down with your child for the third time that morning as you explain to them why they shouldn't do something instead of screaming at them.
It means disciplining our children firmly and consistently, never out of violent anger and always with love. Joel R. Beeke made the point in his book, Parenting by God's Promises, "We must enforce and enrich every act of discipline with large doses of love." Why? Because that's what God does for His children - something which we can't deny as we've seen His faithfulness in our own lives. God has set the supreme example of disciplining with love - the Bible doesn't say that He does not get angry, but rather that He is slow to anger, that His anger is righteous, and that He is rich in love even when He is angry. What an awesome model for us to follow.
And it also means setting the example for our kids, like our Heavenly Father has set for us - and openly acknowledging when we come up short and pointing them towards the better model: Christ.
We have the perfect example laid out before us of gracious, patient parenting, and when we set that as our standard we'll likely see many areas we can improve on: Are we truly being gracious? Does our parenting style reflect compassion? How much slower can we get to anger while still being firm in our limits and correcting our children? And how much more love can we lavish on our children as we raise them?
And the best part? While we can set a new standard for our parenting as we strive to emulate our Heavenly Father, He is the most gracious, the most compassionate, the slowest to anger and the richest in love, so when we fall short - which will happen - we never need to be afraid of turning to Him, confessing our failures, and asking for His help to make us more like Him.
To God be the glory, forever and ever, Amen!
I love this verse. Every time I read it - or very often sing it since it's been set to music in a popular worship song - I reflect on His grace and how His love endures in spite of all my failures. It's a beautiful reminder of how great God is as He deals with us.
But is this verse only to be used to acknowledge those attributes in God, or merely to take comfort as the objects of that grace? By all means we ought to embrace the comfort found in these truths - what would we be if it weren't for His love? But to stop there is to stop short, for, "All scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness." (2 Tim. 3:16) We need to seek the sanctifying truths in such verses and ask God to work in us through them.
Psalm 145:8 doesn't directly address us, but rather talks about those attributes of God. Of course, whenever we hear of God's grace, mercy, compassion and love we always think of ourselves because we are the recipients of that grace. But we aren't supposed to just rest as the recipients of such grace; we ought to strive to imitate and reflect it. As Christians, we ought to be in a constant state of purification and sanctification as we allow God to work in us through His Spirit, making us more like Him. If the Lord is gracious and compassionate, we ought to desire to be gracious and compassionate as well.
Where is one of the best areas to help refine these attributes in us? In our homes, raising our children.
What better encouragement towards being slow to anger than a toddler who you have just finished correcting, and then turns around and does the exact same thing again? Or a pre-schooler who is convinced they know what's best and who challenges our authority?
James reminds us that the trials we face will help bring us to a point of maturity and completion - "not lacking anything" (James 1:2-4). There are going to be rough patches raising children - we all know this. But we should be glad that the trials we do encounter are providing opportunities for us to learn to be gracious, compassionate, patient and loving like God.
Practically speaking, what do those traits look like in the home?
It means not blowing our tops when something gets spilled - sure it might be frustrating to have to deal with such a mess, but it was likely a result of carelessness, or even just a side-effect of a little guy growing so fast and not knowing how to handle it yet, and there was likely no sin committed, so we can hardly count our anger as righteous at such an instance.
It means forgiving our children when they have sinned and not holding it over them, making them dwell on their own shortcomings.
It means not losing it because it's 11:30 at night and they're still awake and calling us and we have things we need to do; putting aside our agenda to provide for them in the way they need and assuring them that they are precious to us - at all times of the night.
It means sitting down with your child for the third time that morning as you explain to them why they shouldn't do something instead of screaming at them.
It means disciplining our children firmly and consistently, never out of violent anger and always with love. Joel R. Beeke made the point in his book, Parenting by God's Promises, "We must enforce and enrich every act of discipline with large doses of love." Why? Because that's what God does for His children - something which we can't deny as we've seen His faithfulness in our own lives. God has set the supreme example of disciplining with love - the Bible doesn't say that He does not get angry, but rather that He is slow to anger, that His anger is righteous, and that He is rich in love even when He is angry. What an awesome model for us to follow.
And it also means setting the example for our kids, like our Heavenly Father has set for us - and openly acknowledging when we come up short and pointing them towards the better model: Christ.
We have the perfect example laid out before us of gracious, patient parenting, and when we set that as our standard we'll likely see many areas we can improve on: Are we truly being gracious? Does our parenting style reflect compassion? How much slower can we get to anger while still being firm in our limits and correcting our children? And how much more love can we lavish on our children as we raise them?
And the best part? While we can set a new standard for our parenting as we strive to emulate our Heavenly Father, He is the most gracious, the most compassionate, the slowest to anger and the richest in love, so when we fall short - which will happen - we never need to be afraid of turning to Him, confessing our failures, and asking for His help to make us more like Him.
To God be the glory, forever and ever, Amen!
Wednesday, 1 May 2013
Rejoice in the Lord - Always.
"Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice." Philippians 4:4
What does it mean to you to rejoice in the Lord? And furthermore, what does it mean to do it "always"?
For many of us, this verse may seem a bit perplexing. How can we always be rejoicing? Wasn't Paul aware of what sort of things can complicate the life of a wife and mother? Was he unaware of the anxieties that accompany those roles, and how many concerns we have brought before us day after day? And what about those seasons of sorrow that all of us face? Surely we are excused from rejoicing then?
But that's the beauty of scripture: "All scripture is breathed out by God and is profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness." (2 Timothy 3:16) Which means that the word "always" is in there for a reason, and there's also a good reason why Paul felt the need to admonish the Philippians to rejoice twice: it's easy to forget to do this!
But what sort of 'rejoicing' are we called to do? Is this an un-natural behaviour where in the face of deepest sorrow, we as Christians are never allowed to weep or mourn? Of course not. Christ wept at the mourning of the Jews after the death of Lazarus. He was sorrowful to see the despair that death brings. Christians aren't required to be perpetually happy and never sad. There may be those that you've come across who don't seem to understand that, and who may feel like it's a sin to be sad, but they forget that we are called to, "Mourn with those who mourn." (Romans 12:15) No, we have freedom in God to experience the emotions that He gave us. But we also have the responsibility to not sin because of our emotions.
You should notice that the verse doesn't instruct us to "rejoice in our illness", or "rejoice in the loss of your loved ones," but rather, "Rejoice in the LORD." That is why we are called to do it always - because we always have reason to rejoice in Him! While our circumstances themselves may not prompt us to rejoice, the faithfulness and goodness and sovereignty of our Lord should!
In our illness we should rejoice because we have a faithful Father who will comfort and heal according to His will. In times of loss we should rejoice because we know that the victory has been won and that death has lost its sting. In seasons of tension and hurt in our relationships we should rejoice because we are benefactors of the eternal love of God, which He will never remove from us. Only in the Lord will we find our unending cause to rejoice!
Now, I must admit that I feel this in particular is a verse that is profitable "for training in righteousness", as referred to in 2 Timothy. When you think of training for something, there's the implication that perfection does not come naturally, and that sometimes there will be mistakes that you need to correct, learn from, and move forward from. Does it come easily for us to rejoice at all during the hardest seasons of our lives? No - but that's because in our fallen state we had forgotten that there was something as constant and faithful as God which we could eternally rejoice in. But as we train in righteousness, and God continues His good work in us, we can find ourselves coming to a point where we don't need to work so hard to rejoice in our sovereign God. We'll find ourselves, by His grace, remembering that while under the sun there is a season for everything (Ecclesiastes 3:1), He does not change like shifting shadows (James 1:17); He is always faithful - and that is a great reason to rejoice.
So what is your burden today? What is weighing on your heart, or breaking you down? Whatever it is, we need to remember that while there may not be much cause to rejoice in our hurts and anxieties, God welcomes us to cast all our cares upon Him, and that is one of the incredible reasons why we are called to, "Rejoice in the Lord always."
To God be the glory, forever and ever, Amen!
What does it mean to you to rejoice in the Lord? And furthermore, what does it mean to do it "always"?
For many of us, this verse may seem a bit perplexing. How can we always be rejoicing? Wasn't Paul aware of what sort of things can complicate the life of a wife and mother? Was he unaware of the anxieties that accompany those roles, and how many concerns we have brought before us day after day? And what about those seasons of sorrow that all of us face? Surely we are excused from rejoicing then?
But that's the beauty of scripture: "All scripture is breathed out by God and is profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness." (2 Timothy 3:16) Which means that the word "always" is in there for a reason, and there's also a good reason why Paul felt the need to admonish the Philippians to rejoice twice: it's easy to forget to do this!
But what sort of 'rejoicing' are we called to do? Is this an un-natural behaviour where in the face of deepest sorrow, we as Christians are never allowed to weep or mourn? Of course not. Christ wept at the mourning of the Jews after the death of Lazarus. He was sorrowful to see the despair that death brings. Christians aren't required to be perpetually happy and never sad. There may be those that you've come across who don't seem to understand that, and who may feel like it's a sin to be sad, but they forget that we are called to, "Mourn with those who mourn." (Romans 12:15) No, we have freedom in God to experience the emotions that He gave us. But we also have the responsibility to not sin because of our emotions.
You should notice that the verse doesn't instruct us to "rejoice in our illness", or "rejoice in the loss of your loved ones," but rather, "Rejoice in the LORD." That is why we are called to do it always - because we always have reason to rejoice in Him! While our circumstances themselves may not prompt us to rejoice, the faithfulness and goodness and sovereignty of our Lord should!
In our illness we should rejoice because we have a faithful Father who will comfort and heal according to His will. In times of loss we should rejoice because we know that the victory has been won and that death has lost its sting. In seasons of tension and hurt in our relationships we should rejoice because we are benefactors of the eternal love of God, which He will never remove from us. Only in the Lord will we find our unending cause to rejoice!
Now, I must admit that I feel this in particular is a verse that is profitable "for training in righteousness", as referred to in 2 Timothy. When you think of training for something, there's the implication that perfection does not come naturally, and that sometimes there will be mistakes that you need to correct, learn from, and move forward from. Does it come easily for us to rejoice at all during the hardest seasons of our lives? No - but that's because in our fallen state we had forgotten that there was something as constant and faithful as God which we could eternally rejoice in. But as we train in righteousness, and God continues His good work in us, we can find ourselves coming to a point where we don't need to work so hard to rejoice in our sovereign God. We'll find ourselves, by His grace, remembering that while under the sun there is a season for everything (Ecclesiastes 3:1), He does not change like shifting shadows (James 1:17); He is always faithful - and that is a great reason to rejoice.
So what is your burden today? What is weighing on your heart, or breaking you down? Whatever it is, we need to remember that while there may not be much cause to rejoice in our hurts and anxieties, God welcomes us to cast all our cares upon Him, and that is one of the incredible reasons why we are called to, "Rejoice in the Lord always."
To God be the glory, forever and ever, Amen!
Tuesday, 5 March 2013
Teaching Your Children About Marriage
Another post - another outside link! Occassionally articles are brought to our attention that we feel convey solid truth and sound reasoning, and which do the job well of glorifying God. This is another such article:
Teaching Your Children About Marriage
The article is written by a woman, to women, and while it certainly isn't exhaustive, it makes a great point that our children will learn what marriage means by watching what ours looks like. Is your marriage about serving yourself, is it all about the kids, or is it about glorifying God while you and your husband serve eachother? I pray for all of you that it's the latter!
To God be the glory, forever and ever, Amen!
Teaching Your Children About Marriage
The article is written by a woman, to women, and while it certainly isn't exhaustive, it makes a great point that our children will learn what marriage means by watching what ours looks like. Is your marriage about serving yourself, is it all about the kids, or is it about glorifying God while you and your husband serve eachother? I pray for all of you that it's the latter!
To God be the glory, forever and ever, Amen!
Saturday, 23 February 2013
The Me Time Myth
I recently saw this article shared on Facebook and felt it was a wonderful reminder to women about what we really need: Christ. In a self-centered world, we can find a lot of bad council, but if we remember to look back into God-breathed word, we can find truth and promise, just like this woman experienced.
So I encourage you: read this, apply the heart of the message to your own life, and dive into God's word for more encouragement!
The Me Time Myth
To God be the glory, forever and ever, Amen!
So I encourage you: read this, apply the heart of the message to your own life, and dive into God's word for more encouragement!
The Me Time Myth
To God be the glory, forever and ever, Amen!
Wednesday, 13 February 2013
An Opportunity to Serve
February 14th.
Valentine's Day.
The day when women all over the world expect flowers, candies, cards and dinners.
Valentine's Day has many foes; large numbers of people despise the focus on relationships when their own love lives are lifeless, many people lament the emphasis on spending money and the apparent necessity to buy into the commercial aspect of the day, and then there are people who believe that boycotting the day is the best way to state to the world that we should celebrate our relationships more than just once a year.
I'd like to point out that I personally enjoy the day. I enjoy the prospect of a day designated to the celebration of our relationships. Plus, I think it's fun.
That being said, I do have my issues with Valentine's Day. My biggest issue is with my expectations about the day.
Growing up as young girls, we are taught that Valentine's Day is when it is the boys' responsibility to lavish us with tokens of their affection, and anything less than the sweetest "Be Mine" card and one more candy than they gave every other girl is grounds for being upset with them.
In High School, if our boyfriends forgot Valentine's Day, they were no longer 'boyfriend material', and if so-and-so got a better gift than we did, we felt ripped off.
Fast-forward to our married selves, and while our expectations may be more moderate and our hormone fluctuations more temperate, we still expect something and a fight may be brewing if we feel ourselves neglected or forgotten.
But perhaps we're looking at this all wrong. Instead of thinking ourselves the best wives in the world because we make it easy for our husbands by telling them exactly what our expectations are and helping them remember to bring home flowers, shouldn't we be viewing this as the perfect chance to show our spouses how much we love them? Instead of waiting to be served, should we take the opportunity to serve?
The selfish expectations we hold regarding how our men should treat us is something we were likely taught at a very young age. In an attempt to equip girls with self-esteem and a feeling of worth, the world told us we were beautiful, that we deserved the best and that we needed to hold out until we found someone who was willing to give us that. But what we should have been taught is that we are beautiful because we are daughters of our Holy Father, that we deserve death but have been redeemed through Him, and that 'the best' is a man who pursues God with all his heart, and who strives to serve Him in everything he does. The first model did little more than teach us that we needed to find a husband who would wait on us hand-and-foot, particularly in seasons such as pregnancy or obligatory dates, such as Valentine's Day and our anniversary. The second model teaches so much more; it shows us that we need to desire to serve, that pursuing God is our highest priority and that keeping our focus on God is the best thing that can happen to our earthly relationships.
Should your husband remember Valentine's Day, your birthday and your anniversary? Yes, he probably should. But instead of worrying about his memory and his plans, we should instead worry first about ours.
Wine him. Dine him. Show him that you adore him. Let him know that you appreciate the man and the leader that he is.
Get your kids in on it. Make sure they let him know what a great Daddy he is.
And remember that this day is a great reminder to do these things, but that we need to do it regularly. I've heard it said before, "Ladies, if you don't pursue your husband, there are plenty of women who will be willing to take over for you." And it's true. We need to encourage our husbands in our relationship, and I think Martin Luther had a great formula for it: "Let the wife make the husband glad to come home, and let him make her sorry to see him leave." But our responsibility as the wives in that equation lies first in making him glad to come home - to making him feel loved, appreciated, served and respected.
So whatever your expectations for Valentine's Day were, throw them out the window. Shift gears and use this opportunity to serve your husband to the best of your abilities. Greet him at the door with a cold drink and a plate of nachos, make sure he get's a say in the evening's activities and make double-sure that he gets a nice long back rub.
And if you find that you do feel he is neglecting you and that you would appreciate him to express his affection more freely, talk to him respectfully, not emotionally, and request that he think about it and perhaps talk with an older man to gain perspective on the situation. And remember the teachings of Peter when it says, "Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct." 1 Peter 3:1-2 We need to submit to our husbands and serve them for God's glory. And God truly is glorified when we celebrate the relationships He has blessed us with!
To God be the glory, forever and ever, Amen!
Valentine's Day.
The day when women all over the world expect flowers, candies, cards and dinners.
Valentine's Day has many foes; large numbers of people despise the focus on relationships when their own love lives are lifeless, many people lament the emphasis on spending money and the apparent necessity to buy into the commercial aspect of the day, and then there are people who believe that boycotting the day is the best way to state to the world that we should celebrate our relationships more than just once a year.
I'd like to point out that I personally enjoy the day. I enjoy the prospect of a day designated to the celebration of our relationships. Plus, I think it's fun.
That being said, I do have my issues with Valentine's Day. My biggest issue is with my expectations about the day.
Growing up as young girls, we are taught that Valentine's Day is when it is the boys' responsibility to lavish us with tokens of their affection, and anything less than the sweetest "Be Mine" card and one more candy than they gave every other girl is grounds for being upset with them.
In High School, if our boyfriends forgot Valentine's Day, they were no longer 'boyfriend material', and if so-and-so got a better gift than we did, we felt ripped off.
Fast-forward to our married selves, and while our expectations may be more moderate and our hormone fluctuations more temperate, we still expect something and a fight may be brewing if we feel ourselves neglected or forgotten.
But perhaps we're looking at this all wrong. Instead of thinking ourselves the best wives in the world because we make it easy for our husbands by telling them exactly what our expectations are and helping them remember to bring home flowers, shouldn't we be viewing this as the perfect chance to show our spouses how much we love them? Instead of waiting to be served, should we take the opportunity to serve?
The selfish expectations we hold regarding how our men should treat us is something we were likely taught at a very young age. In an attempt to equip girls with self-esteem and a feeling of worth, the world told us we were beautiful, that we deserved the best and that we needed to hold out until we found someone who was willing to give us that. But what we should have been taught is that we are beautiful because we are daughters of our Holy Father, that we deserve death but have been redeemed through Him, and that 'the best' is a man who pursues God with all his heart, and who strives to serve Him in everything he does. The first model did little more than teach us that we needed to find a husband who would wait on us hand-and-foot, particularly in seasons such as pregnancy or obligatory dates, such as Valentine's Day and our anniversary. The second model teaches so much more; it shows us that we need to desire to serve, that pursuing God is our highest priority and that keeping our focus on God is the best thing that can happen to our earthly relationships.
Should your husband remember Valentine's Day, your birthday and your anniversary? Yes, he probably should. But instead of worrying about his memory and his plans, we should instead worry first about ours.
Wine him. Dine him. Show him that you adore him. Let him know that you appreciate the man and the leader that he is.
Get your kids in on it. Make sure they let him know what a great Daddy he is.
And remember that this day is a great reminder to do these things, but that we need to do it regularly. I've heard it said before, "Ladies, if you don't pursue your husband, there are plenty of women who will be willing to take over for you." And it's true. We need to encourage our husbands in our relationship, and I think Martin Luther had a great formula for it: "Let the wife make the husband glad to come home, and let him make her sorry to see him leave." But our responsibility as the wives in that equation lies first in making him glad to come home - to making him feel loved, appreciated, served and respected.
So whatever your expectations for Valentine's Day were, throw them out the window. Shift gears and use this opportunity to serve your husband to the best of your abilities. Greet him at the door with a cold drink and a plate of nachos, make sure he get's a say in the evening's activities and make double-sure that he gets a nice long back rub.
And if you find that you do feel he is neglecting you and that you would appreciate him to express his affection more freely, talk to him respectfully, not emotionally, and request that he think about it and perhaps talk with an older man to gain perspective on the situation. And remember the teachings of Peter when it says, "Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct." 1 Peter 3:1-2 We need to submit to our husbands and serve them for God's glory. And God truly is glorified when we celebrate the relationships He has blessed us with!
To God be the glory, forever and ever, Amen!
Monday, 21 January 2013
Desire to Improve
As we roll into a New Year we are constantly being encouraged to improve ourselves. Sales for organizational tools and exercise equipment remind us of areas that we need to work on, and spur us on towards self-betterment. Self-help books appear on shelves in droves and will tell you how to do anything from manage your time better, to lose that last 5 pounds.
Desiring to improve ourselves is not a bad thing. We should desire to be better in many things. But why do we desire it? And are we focusing on the wrong areas?
First and foremost, we need to desire God more. We need to desire to serve Him better, and to let Him work in every aspect of our lives. This is FAR more important than whether or not we stay on top of laundry or whether our craft cupboard is organized. We need to pursue relationship with Him, asking Him to ignite that desire in our hearts and strengthen us to follow through with our goal of knowing Him more intimately. This is not an area that falls under 'self-help'. The Bible makes it abundantly clear that we can't help ourselves when it comes to right relationship with God. We have been redeemed by the blood of our Savior, through no merit or works of our own, and we will be continually restored and renewed through the work of the Spirit, as it pleases the Father. Self-help books on your relationship with God should all be very short: Pray to Him, surrender to Him and let Him work in you.
Not only does this need to be the first priority, it needs to permeate through every other goal you set!
Why should we want our houses to be cleaner? To impress our company? Because so-and-so has such a clean house? Pride?
I am not a tidy person by nature. But I have identified a need in my life to improve on the cleanliness and order in my house because the Bible commands me to submit to my husband, and instructs me to help him, to care for him, and to serve him as an act of worship to God. My husband likes when our house is clean, therefore I clean my house, to serve my husband, to the glory of God.
Many of us struggle with body image and desire to lose a pound or two (or twenty). But why do we desire it? Because then our clothes fit better? Because we're embarassed by how we look? Because we crave the compliments we'll receive? Or because we seek to treat our bodies well, to stay healthy and be desirable to our husbands, for God's glory?
Often we take this time of year to relook at our finances. I'm sure the vast majority of us feel like we could do well to have a bit more money, and we all sit around at some point, wondering where we can cut back, how we can save and what we can do to possibly make sure there is more money in our account. But if we are doing all of this to save up for a debaucherous trip to Vegas, or so that we can spend money selfishly without guilt, or so we can excuse poor stewardship, it's wrong to desire that. When was the last time we sat down to relook our finances to see how we could give more to God's work?
It's not wrong to desire to improve, but the heart behind the desire can be wrong. We need to realize that things like healthy lifestyles, good organization and fiscal planning can be idols. In all things we need to set our gaze on our Heavenly Father and work for His glory.
So by all means, go through Pinterest and find wonderful ideas for ways to organize your linen closet, and how to keep your house clean, and recipes for low-fat, organic foods, but do it all to God's glory, because while God may not care how organized your pantry is, He does delight in the things we do as an act of worship to Him, which can be everything we do if our first and foremost desire is to serve Him.
To God be the glory, forever and ever, Amen!
Desiring to improve ourselves is not a bad thing. We should desire to be better in many things. But why do we desire it? And are we focusing on the wrong areas?
First and foremost, we need to desire God more. We need to desire to serve Him better, and to let Him work in every aspect of our lives. This is FAR more important than whether or not we stay on top of laundry or whether our craft cupboard is organized. We need to pursue relationship with Him, asking Him to ignite that desire in our hearts and strengthen us to follow through with our goal of knowing Him more intimately. This is not an area that falls under 'self-help'. The Bible makes it abundantly clear that we can't help ourselves when it comes to right relationship with God. We have been redeemed by the blood of our Savior, through no merit or works of our own, and we will be continually restored and renewed through the work of the Spirit, as it pleases the Father. Self-help books on your relationship with God should all be very short: Pray to Him, surrender to Him and let Him work in you.
Not only does this need to be the first priority, it needs to permeate through every other goal you set!
Why should we want our houses to be cleaner? To impress our company? Because so-and-so has such a clean house? Pride?
I am not a tidy person by nature. But I have identified a need in my life to improve on the cleanliness and order in my house because the Bible commands me to submit to my husband, and instructs me to help him, to care for him, and to serve him as an act of worship to God. My husband likes when our house is clean, therefore I clean my house, to serve my husband, to the glory of God.
Many of us struggle with body image and desire to lose a pound or two (or twenty). But why do we desire it? Because then our clothes fit better? Because we're embarassed by how we look? Because we crave the compliments we'll receive? Or because we seek to treat our bodies well, to stay healthy and be desirable to our husbands, for God's glory?
Often we take this time of year to relook at our finances. I'm sure the vast majority of us feel like we could do well to have a bit more money, and we all sit around at some point, wondering where we can cut back, how we can save and what we can do to possibly make sure there is more money in our account. But if we are doing all of this to save up for a debaucherous trip to Vegas, or so that we can spend money selfishly without guilt, or so we can excuse poor stewardship, it's wrong to desire that. When was the last time we sat down to relook our finances to see how we could give more to God's work?
It's not wrong to desire to improve, but the heart behind the desire can be wrong. We need to realize that things like healthy lifestyles, good organization and fiscal planning can be idols. In all things we need to set our gaze on our Heavenly Father and work for His glory.
So by all means, go through Pinterest and find wonderful ideas for ways to organize your linen closet, and how to keep your house clean, and recipes for low-fat, organic foods, but do it all to God's glory, because while God may not care how organized your pantry is, He does delight in the things we do as an act of worship to Him, which can be everything we do if our first and foremost desire is to serve Him.
To God be the glory, forever and ever, Amen!
Wednesday, 17 October 2012
Taking a Break... for His Glory
Do you love to serve?
Do you look for opportunities to help others?
Do you seek to help your spouse, and submit to your role as a Keeper of the Home, all for God's glory?
Wonderful! Praise God that He has given us such desires to serve Him!
But do you ever have seasons where you don't have as much to give?
Do you ever feel like your works aren't adequate?
Do you ever wish for a day off, but feel guilty as you try to do nothing?
Do you ever feel worn and exhausted, but you're afraid that stepping out of roles will be letting too many down?
May I just say, you are by no means alone.
As women growing up in a church, many of us feel a great desire to embrace the role of 'helper'. We have certain responsibilities in that role, and many women seek to embody the servant's heart and feel that serving is one of the greatest gifts they can give God on this Earth. Many women are naturally endowed with skills and enjoyment of, what I like to call, the "domestic arts"; cooking, baking, cleaning, organizing, hosting, planning, knitting, sewing, scrapbooking... many women are naturally drawn to these areas. These hobbies can be well utilized to serve others, and many a housewife has made a reputation for herself by always having ample food and space for everyone, and making everyone feel at home.
But perhaps the harder part, for many women seeking to live for God, is how to serve God when we aren't physically partaking in 'service'.
Many of those housewives with the great reputation become convinced that their worth lies in their service. These women have demonstrated a servant's heart for decades - cooking for sick neighbours, watching over children, being on every committee and at every prayer meeting. But what happens when they need a break? Are they allowed to? Does rest have its place in the life of a servant-hearted woman? What if you can't be on a committee for a season? Does it mean you're letting people down?
The reality is, people need to rest. Different seasons bring different struggles, and some seasons seem to bring as many struggles as they can fit in. God desires us to serve Him out of love, but He also desires us to rest in Him. We should want to serve in our church and in our cities as an act of love to God, but it's not beneficial to God's kingdom if we literally work ourselves to death. It is honestly okay to say that you can't serve in some capacity because you have other priorities (health, your marriage, your family). You aren't letting anyone down by taking care of your own well-being. You're not letting anyone down when you say that you're going to take a sabbatical for a season to focus on your relationship with your spouse. These seasons of rest will strengthen you for future service, and ensure that your relationships are strong, as God intended them to be.
So take a break when you need one, but do it to God's glory.
What the Bible tells us about rest is essentially this: everything in moderation. God set the example for us by resting on the Seventh day of Creation (Gen. 2). Christ is shown reclining at the table (Matthew 26:7) and enjoying the company of his friends. The Sabbath, which is a day of rest and observation of God's grace and blessings, was established as one of the 10 Commandments. Sitting back and admiring God's works, fellowshiping with friends and resting in God's promises are all examples of resting to God's glory.
But the Bible also cautions against eating the bread of idleness. It draws a direct line between idleness and gossip (2 Thess. 3:11), says that those who do no work should not get to eat (2 Thess. 3:10) and says that laziness leads to poverty (Proverbs 10:4).
So how does it look to take a break to God's glory? Well, first off, consider how many 'breaks' you allot to yourself. If you notice a trend of more breaks than service, perhaps your desire for rest is rooted in idleness?
Sometimes all you need is a day on the couch where you do nothing but watch TV and recover from everything that's been going on, perhaps while you even recover your health. Don't let your break from serving be a break from fellowship with God. You can still fellowship with God while you watch TV, but guard your heart and mind against the filth of the world. Don't consider your downtime as an allowance to indulge in guilty pleasures; if you watch reality TV and find yourself judging the characters, find a new show. If you criticize people for their fashion choices or looks while watching entertainment news, perhaps that channel isn't for you. And if you sit comfortably watching shows that encourage promiscuity, and even cheer for a couple to 'hook up' on your favorite sitcom, you are probably a little too comfortable. Watch shows that are edifying, not vulgar and promoting sinful lifestyles. Granted, such shows might be harder to find than otherwise; when in doubt, check out The Food Network.
Check your attitude while you take your break. Are you constantly angry with your kids for disrupting you? Are you focusing on everything your husband isn't doing for you, instead of everything that he is doing? Is it the whole world's fault that someone cut you off while you were driving to Starbucks? Don't sin in your anger, remind yourself that while you have a break, things change for everyone and it might be a hard change for kiddos to adjust to, and remember that your husband can't actually read your mind (or sometimes your tone of voice, or your short answers, or your body language...) If you need something, ask him for it. And then be sincerely appreciative of his help and thank God that you have such a wonderful husband.
Use your break to refresh your weary soul. Sometimes we can get so caught up in service, that it can seem as though we've forgotten why we started serving in the first place. Here's the short answer: It's all for Him. If life's gotten away from you, you feel legalistic in your service and you need to take a break to refocus, make sure you set your sights on where you truly need to be focused. Don't follow the worldly example which tells us we need to focus on ourselves, but instead, set your sights on Him. As you recover from your weariness, if you have already determined your end goal as being a closer relationship with Him, it will help determine the road you need to take to get there. But remember, takinng care of yourself is still glorifying to God.
If we love God, we should desire to serve Him, in our churches, our communities and in our every day lives, but we need to remember that our works by no means dictate our value, or the depth of God's love for us. If you need a break, go on and take it, all to the glory of God!
Do you look for opportunities to help others?
Do you seek to help your spouse, and submit to your role as a Keeper of the Home, all for God's glory?
Wonderful! Praise God that He has given us such desires to serve Him!
But do you ever have seasons where you don't have as much to give?
Do you ever feel like your works aren't adequate?
Do you ever wish for a day off, but feel guilty as you try to do nothing?
Do you ever feel worn and exhausted, but you're afraid that stepping out of roles will be letting too many down?
May I just say, you are by no means alone.
As women growing up in a church, many of us feel a great desire to embrace the role of 'helper'. We have certain responsibilities in that role, and many women seek to embody the servant's heart and feel that serving is one of the greatest gifts they can give God on this Earth. Many women are naturally endowed with skills and enjoyment of, what I like to call, the "domestic arts"; cooking, baking, cleaning, organizing, hosting, planning, knitting, sewing, scrapbooking... many women are naturally drawn to these areas. These hobbies can be well utilized to serve others, and many a housewife has made a reputation for herself by always having ample food and space for everyone, and making everyone feel at home.
But perhaps the harder part, for many women seeking to live for God, is how to serve God when we aren't physically partaking in 'service'.
Many of those housewives with the great reputation become convinced that their worth lies in their service. These women have demonstrated a servant's heart for decades - cooking for sick neighbours, watching over children, being on every committee and at every prayer meeting. But what happens when they need a break? Are they allowed to? Does rest have its place in the life of a servant-hearted woman? What if you can't be on a committee for a season? Does it mean you're letting people down?
The reality is, people need to rest. Different seasons bring different struggles, and some seasons seem to bring as many struggles as they can fit in. God desires us to serve Him out of love, but He also desires us to rest in Him. We should want to serve in our church and in our cities as an act of love to God, but it's not beneficial to God's kingdom if we literally work ourselves to death. It is honestly okay to say that you can't serve in some capacity because you have other priorities (health, your marriage, your family). You aren't letting anyone down by taking care of your own well-being. You're not letting anyone down when you say that you're going to take a sabbatical for a season to focus on your relationship with your spouse. These seasons of rest will strengthen you for future service, and ensure that your relationships are strong, as God intended them to be.
So take a break when you need one, but do it to God's glory.
What the Bible tells us about rest is essentially this: everything in moderation. God set the example for us by resting on the Seventh day of Creation (Gen. 2). Christ is shown reclining at the table (Matthew 26:7) and enjoying the company of his friends. The Sabbath, which is a day of rest and observation of God's grace and blessings, was established as one of the 10 Commandments. Sitting back and admiring God's works, fellowshiping with friends and resting in God's promises are all examples of resting to God's glory.
But the Bible also cautions against eating the bread of idleness. It draws a direct line between idleness and gossip (2 Thess. 3:11), says that those who do no work should not get to eat (2 Thess. 3:10) and says that laziness leads to poverty (Proverbs 10:4).
So how does it look to take a break to God's glory? Well, first off, consider how many 'breaks' you allot to yourself. If you notice a trend of more breaks than service, perhaps your desire for rest is rooted in idleness?
Sometimes all you need is a day on the couch where you do nothing but watch TV and recover from everything that's been going on, perhaps while you even recover your health. Don't let your break from serving be a break from fellowship with God. You can still fellowship with God while you watch TV, but guard your heart and mind against the filth of the world. Don't consider your downtime as an allowance to indulge in guilty pleasures; if you watch reality TV and find yourself judging the characters, find a new show. If you criticize people for their fashion choices or looks while watching entertainment news, perhaps that channel isn't for you. And if you sit comfortably watching shows that encourage promiscuity, and even cheer for a couple to 'hook up' on your favorite sitcom, you are probably a little too comfortable. Watch shows that are edifying, not vulgar and promoting sinful lifestyles. Granted, such shows might be harder to find than otherwise; when in doubt, check out The Food Network.
Check your attitude while you take your break. Are you constantly angry with your kids for disrupting you? Are you focusing on everything your husband isn't doing for you, instead of everything that he is doing? Is it the whole world's fault that someone cut you off while you were driving to Starbucks? Don't sin in your anger, remind yourself that while you have a break, things change for everyone and it might be a hard change for kiddos to adjust to, and remember that your husband can't actually read your mind (or sometimes your tone of voice, or your short answers, or your body language...) If you need something, ask him for it. And then be sincerely appreciative of his help and thank God that you have such a wonderful husband.
Use your break to refresh your weary soul. Sometimes we can get so caught up in service, that it can seem as though we've forgotten why we started serving in the first place. Here's the short answer: It's all for Him. If life's gotten away from you, you feel legalistic in your service and you need to take a break to refocus, make sure you set your sights on where you truly need to be focused. Don't follow the worldly example which tells us we need to focus on ourselves, but instead, set your sights on Him. As you recover from your weariness, if you have already determined your end goal as being a closer relationship with Him, it will help determine the road you need to take to get there. But remember, takinng care of yourself is still glorifying to God.
If we love God, we should desire to serve Him, in our churches, our communities and in our every day lives, but we need to remember that our works by no means dictate our value, or the depth of God's love for us. If you need a break, go on and take it, all to the glory of God!
Tuesday, 9 October 2012
Complementarianism
You may have noticed that there can occassionally be quite the timespan between posts on here! The reason is simple: we want to make sure that what we post is true, edifying, uplifting and Biblically accurate. By claiming this as a teaching platform for women, we're putting ourselves in a position of great scrutiny and judgement, and not merely from Earthly sources. If we say things are true, we want to make sure they are first!
That being said, we've had multiple posts in the works for weeks that remain unfinished until such a time that we feel they appropriately reflect a Biblical aspect in all areas. It's tough work. And while we had scheduled to post a new entry a few days ago, it has now become one such 'unfinished work'.
But praise God for the Internet and the resources it brings!
Here is a fantastic link to an article called "Complementarianism for Dummies." The City Well holds to a Complementarian view, and this wonderfully explains, not only what it is, but also what it is not.
So read through, even if you already 'know' what Complementarianism means, because it has some wonderful insight from one of the men involved in coining the term!
And hopefully we'll get one of those unfinished posts finished soon! God bless and have a great week!
To God be the glory, forever and ever, Amen!
That being said, we've had multiple posts in the works for weeks that remain unfinished until such a time that we feel they appropriately reflect a Biblical aspect in all areas. It's tough work. And while we had scheduled to post a new entry a few days ago, it has now become one such 'unfinished work'.
But praise God for the Internet and the resources it brings!
Here is a fantastic link to an article called "Complementarianism for Dummies." The City Well holds to a Complementarian view, and this wonderfully explains, not only what it is, but also what it is not.
So read through, even if you already 'know' what Complementarianism means, because it has some wonderful insight from one of the men involved in coining the term!
And hopefully we'll get one of those unfinished posts finished soon! God bless and have a great week!
To God be the glory, forever and ever, Amen!
Wednesday, 5 September 2012
Teaching our Children
It's back to school time! For many, this will be a child's first year. For many others, your young ones aren't quite old enough to go yet, but this time of year gives you a slight chill thinking about the day when they will be!
Living in Canada, we are blessed to have excellent schools, which are affordable, that teach our children the skills necessary to find work, and that encourage interest in extracurricular options and foster our children's natural abilities, wherever they may lie.
But given the ease with which we can drop off our children with their teachers, we can look within the school for additional help for our children, or even hire a tutor if they are having difficulties, it can sometimes be difficult to maintain the position of 'teacher' in our child's life. And 'teacher' is indeed a role that we are meant to hold. The Bible speaks repeatedly to parents, appealing them to teach their children well, and to remember to tell them about God. The book of Proverbs is essentially a letter to a son from his father, with deference to his mother, teaching him in the ways he should go.
The Bible does not reference Math, or Social, or English, or Science. Society discovered a long time ago that it made more sense to train up select individuals in certain fields and to have them pass along their wealth of knowledge, rather than hope that each family would know how to teach their children multiplication tables. But there is a danger in that method, and that's when we forget how quickly and deeply the world pollutes.
Within our children's education, they will be taught that it is wrong to say that homosexuality is a sin. They will be taught that it is fantastical to believe in a Divine Creator. They will be told that it is not acceptable to believe that some people will go to hell because they believe differently. And this will all be taught to them within our current public school system. It will creep up in science when they discuss evolution. It will creep up in social and english, and I daresay in extracurricular programs. And this is why we need to uphold our position of the primary teacher to our children.
It's about headship. The way a husband is responsible for the affairs of his household, or an elder holds a responsibilty for the affairs of the church. As parents, we do not have to be the only ones teaching our children for their entire education, but when you get down to the bottom line, we do have to be the ones to help our children filter the lies that they will hear, and we absolutely need to be the ones to affirm them in their faith, and to help them hold fast in the face of persecution. If our children stumble because of things they are taught in school, we are not guilty of having taught it to them, but we are responsible for how we address it, and how we guide our children. And the worst thing that we can do is ignore their education, assuming that it's taken care of, and forgetting to involve ourselves so that we are really aware of what our children are being taught.
Now what about Sunday School? Can we not draw the same conclusions from there? Actually, we should be drawing more! The one thing the Bible makes clear as the responsibility for parents to teach their children, is about God and His promises.
And yet, how many of us fail to actively teach our children about God? It's a plague in most churches right now that parents are dropping their kids off to Sunday School, hoping that the program will 'straighten them out' and then not talking about God or church with their families all week until the next time they go to Sunday School. And the way that most Sunday School programs are dealing with this less-involved level of committment and study is by over-simplifying their programs and never digging deeper. So while parents are increasingly relying on Sunday School programs to teach their children everything they need to know about God, the programs are failing by focusing more on keeping kids entertained than teaching them what it means to live for God's glory.
Sunday School, at it's best, can only do so much for your children. It's one morning a week. Once you factor in games and snack (even if they are on theme), it's only really an hour of teaching that your kids receive. We should know by now that an hour on Sunday, unaided by our own efforts, will do little to guide us through a whole week. As adults we devote ourselves to personal study, devotions, prayer times, life groups and accountability groups. We see these as beneficial and even essential to maintaining our heart for God and our desire for Him. Our faith is like a fire that needs to be fed, or else it will burn up too quickly and go out long before we walk back into church the next Sunday.
But how are our children to do this for themselves? Our little ones, some of whom can't even read, rely on us, their parents and teachers, to help them feed the fire. If on Sunday we teach them that God is their ever-present help and that He is everywhere, and in charge of everything, yet we fail to acknowledge Him through the week, are we affirming that message? And as our children grow older, to a point where they can engage in private study, how are they to know what some scriptures mean if they don't have guidance?
We need to embrace, defend and practice our role as the primary teachers in our children's lives. But how?
Deuteronomy 11:19 says, "Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up."
We need to take every opportunity to teach our children about God and His ways. When you're sitting around at home, ask your child what they want to hear about from the Bible. You might be surprised with what they come up with!
On the road, make sure you pray before each journey, discuss how we rely on God for our safety and that our lives are in His hands, and how He made the things we see out the window.
Read a Bible story and say prayers at night, encouraging your kids to remember that God is watching over them and thanking Him for everything that day. I highly suggest reading the Jesus Storybook Bible by Sally Lloyd-Jones. She helps illustrate how every story points to Jesus and how the Bible isn't about us, but it's all about Him.
Greet your kids in the morning with a reminder of how God gave this day to us. Teach them to look to Him in all situations.
After school, ask your kids what they learned and make a point to ask if there was anything they heard that they didn't think was quite right. Ask them about what other kids said, as well as the teachers. Lots of times kids have troubles processing things that their peers say, and assume that it's acceptable to act or talk another way because Mommy and Daddy might not have specifically said, "Make sure you don't say _________"
Take time as a family to worship God, either through service or praise. Do random acts of kindness together to help the kids understand practically showing God's love. Check out this blog post for some great ideas! http://ticklestogiggles.blogspot.ca/2010/05/my-birthday-was-awesome.html
And don't forget to demonstrate God's love to them by how you deal with them daily. We have a perfect model of the perfect parent in God. And one of the roles that God actively embraces as our Father, is being our teacher.
To God be the glory, forever and ever, Amen!
Living in Canada, we are blessed to have excellent schools, which are affordable, that teach our children the skills necessary to find work, and that encourage interest in extracurricular options and foster our children's natural abilities, wherever they may lie.
But given the ease with which we can drop off our children with their teachers, we can look within the school for additional help for our children, or even hire a tutor if they are having difficulties, it can sometimes be difficult to maintain the position of 'teacher' in our child's life. And 'teacher' is indeed a role that we are meant to hold. The Bible speaks repeatedly to parents, appealing them to teach their children well, and to remember to tell them about God. The book of Proverbs is essentially a letter to a son from his father, with deference to his mother, teaching him in the ways he should go.
The Bible does not reference Math, or Social, or English, or Science. Society discovered a long time ago that it made more sense to train up select individuals in certain fields and to have them pass along their wealth of knowledge, rather than hope that each family would know how to teach their children multiplication tables. But there is a danger in that method, and that's when we forget how quickly and deeply the world pollutes.
Within our children's education, they will be taught that it is wrong to say that homosexuality is a sin. They will be taught that it is fantastical to believe in a Divine Creator. They will be told that it is not acceptable to believe that some people will go to hell because they believe differently. And this will all be taught to them within our current public school system. It will creep up in science when they discuss evolution. It will creep up in social and english, and I daresay in extracurricular programs. And this is why we need to uphold our position of the primary teacher to our children.
It's about headship. The way a husband is responsible for the affairs of his household, or an elder holds a responsibilty for the affairs of the church. As parents, we do not have to be the only ones teaching our children for their entire education, but when you get down to the bottom line, we do have to be the ones to help our children filter the lies that they will hear, and we absolutely need to be the ones to affirm them in their faith, and to help them hold fast in the face of persecution. If our children stumble because of things they are taught in school, we are not guilty of having taught it to them, but we are responsible for how we address it, and how we guide our children. And the worst thing that we can do is ignore their education, assuming that it's taken care of, and forgetting to involve ourselves so that we are really aware of what our children are being taught.
Now what about Sunday School? Can we not draw the same conclusions from there? Actually, we should be drawing more! The one thing the Bible makes clear as the responsibility for parents to teach their children, is about God and His promises.
And yet, how many of us fail to actively teach our children about God? It's a plague in most churches right now that parents are dropping their kids off to Sunday School, hoping that the program will 'straighten them out' and then not talking about God or church with their families all week until the next time they go to Sunday School. And the way that most Sunday School programs are dealing with this less-involved level of committment and study is by over-simplifying their programs and never digging deeper. So while parents are increasingly relying on Sunday School programs to teach their children everything they need to know about God, the programs are failing by focusing more on keeping kids entertained than teaching them what it means to live for God's glory.
Sunday School, at it's best, can only do so much for your children. It's one morning a week. Once you factor in games and snack (even if they are on theme), it's only really an hour of teaching that your kids receive. We should know by now that an hour on Sunday, unaided by our own efforts, will do little to guide us through a whole week. As adults we devote ourselves to personal study, devotions, prayer times, life groups and accountability groups. We see these as beneficial and even essential to maintaining our heart for God and our desire for Him. Our faith is like a fire that needs to be fed, or else it will burn up too quickly and go out long before we walk back into church the next Sunday.
But how are our children to do this for themselves? Our little ones, some of whom can't even read, rely on us, their parents and teachers, to help them feed the fire. If on Sunday we teach them that God is their ever-present help and that He is everywhere, and in charge of everything, yet we fail to acknowledge Him through the week, are we affirming that message? And as our children grow older, to a point where they can engage in private study, how are they to know what some scriptures mean if they don't have guidance?
We need to embrace, defend and practice our role as the primary teachers in our children's lives. But how?
Deuteronomy 11:19 says, "Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up."
We need to take every opportunity to teach our children about God and His ways. When you're sitting around at home, ask your child what they want to hear about from the Bible. You might be surprised with what they come up with!
On the road, make sure you pray before each journey, discuss how we rely on God for our safety and that our lives are in His hands, and how He made the things we see out the window.
Read a Bible story and say prayers at night, encouraging your kids to remember that God is watching over them and thanking Him for everything that day. I highly suggest reading the Jesus Storybook Bible by Sally Lloyd-Jones. She helps illustrate how every story points to Jesus and how the Bible isn't about us, but it's all about Him.
Greet your kids in the morning with a reminder of how God gave this day to us. Teach them to look to Him in all situations.
After school, ask your kids what they learned and make a point to ask if there was anything they heard that they didn't think was quite right. Ask them about what other kids said, as well as the teachers. Lots of times kids have troubles processing things that their peers say, and assume that it's acceptable to act or talk another way because Mommy and Daddy might not have specifically said, "Make sure you don't say _________"
Take time as a family to worship God, either through service or praise. Do random acts of kindness together to help the kids understand practically showing God's love. Check out this blog post for some great ideas! http://ticklestogiggles.blogspot.ca/2010/05/my-birthday-was-awesome.html
And don't forget to demonstrate God's love to them by how you deal with them daily. We have a perfect model of the perfect parent in God. And one of the roles that God actively embraces as our Father, is being our teacher.
To God be the glory, forever and ever, Amen!
Monday, 16 July 2012
Loving our Children
As mothers, we have a natural tendency and desire to love and serve our
children. Those precious little babes
that we brought into this world fill up our hearts with such joy that we can’t
help but want to shower them with love and attention.
To God be the glory, forever and ever, Amen!
Sometimes.
Then there are other times when those ‘precious little babes’
are throwing a record-breaking fit all because you said, “No, we’re not going
to have a snack right now,” and suddenly you are the biggest villain in the
world, and it’s 9:30 in the morning and this is their third massive blow-out
today and you’re ready to go back to bed and call it a day already.
Titus 2:4 talks about, “train[ing] the younger women to love
their husbands and children.” There’s a
reason that we need to be ‘trained’ how to love our husbands and children: it’s
hard work! While we are naturally gifted
in some degree to love them, in our fallen state there’s something
lacking. We are sinners, trying to love
other sinners, and that’s a messy situation.
Wouldn’t it be so much easier to be a model Mom if your kids always
obeyed and never fought with you? But
the reality is, it never really works out like that, and that’s why we need to
be trained to love even those whom we naturally feel most compelled to
love.
While one of our best sources of this training is
intended to be older, more experienced women (see Titus 2:3), our primary sources should be the instruction found in scripture itself, and the grace
poured out by our Heavenly Father.
Referring to scripture, James 1:19-20 says, “Take note of
this, my dear brothers: everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and
slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the kind of
righteous living that God desires.” This
is an excellent reminder for Mothers!
While we may be justified in how we are upset that our children are
disobeying, is our reaction justified? Or
is it sinful? And even our anger – anger is not a bad thing in and of itself,
but the bible instructs us to be slow to get there. Consider:
am I upset because I’m focused on my own schedule and things I feel I need to
get done? Or am I really focused on
serving my child and helping him when he/she needs it? I think a lot of the time we’ll find that our
frustration is actually rooted in selfish motives. We can’t get something done because our kids
keep bugging us. We just cleaned the
house and now the kids want to play. We
want the kids to sleep so we can get our nightly chores done. While cleaning our house and getting things
done is not wrong, our priorities may be and our kids may be voicing a
justified desire for us to engage more actively with them. A fresh perspective can open up storehouses
of patience. Another such perspective
which can help, particularly during seasons of illness or teething, is to ask
yourself if you would rather have another woman watching your children,
comforting them and caring for them at all hours. I don’t know a single mother who would rather
have another woman in their place, inconvenient as it may be. And when all else fails, God will not. If we are trying to glorify Him by serving our
children, we can have faith that He will sustain us. The natural affection we have for our
children may occasionally be tried by the demands of the practical application,
but what is lacking in our fallen nature God can and will perfect according to
His will.
Scripture also reveals to us the perfect example of God the
Father. While older women may occasionally
give bad advice (over-indulgence to the children, overly-strict households,
self-centered parenting, etc), the perfect parenting model has always been
shown to us in the Bible; a Father who exhibits undying love and unsurpassed
patience with His people, who will rebuke, restore, refine and redeem them
without an unjust harshness or a momentary-lapse in judgement. Watch a toddler stubbornly go his own way
repeatedly and disobey time and time again, and ask yourself if you haven’t
acted the same towards your Heavenly Father.
And yet God has never dealt unfairly, or over-indulged us simply to keep
us appeased, or desired us to just go away so the He could get something
done. He disciplines, but He does so for
our benefit. He rebukes, but He does it
through love. He takes away, but He is
never unjust.
And when we feel like crying foul about our life situation
and complaining to God about our lack of things or the difficulties we are
going through, perhaps we need to remember then, too, that we are just like the
screaming, angry, unaware toddler that can’t see that his parents are working
to do their best for him.
We’re praying this week:
That we can see the example of God the Father and apply it to our household.
That we can realize how our children can serve as a mirror of our own relationship with God, and that we’ll pray for grace to improve and mature in His sight.
For patience and perspective as we deal with our children.
To be reminded that “man’s anger does not bring about the kind of righteous living that God desires,” as we deal with our children and husbands.
That we can see the example of God the Father and apply it to our household.
That we can realize how our children can serve as a mirror of our own relationship with God, and that we’ll pray for grace to improve and mature in His sight.
For patience and perspective as we deal with our children.
To be reminded that “man’s anger does not bring about the kind of righteous living that God desires,” as we deal with our children and husbands.
To God be the glory, forever and ever, Amen!
Tuesday, 10 July 2012
50 Shades of Filth
There's a new phenomenon circulating in literary circles right now, and it's called 50 Shades of Grey.
At first I was unaware of what this trilogy of books was about, but that's why we have Wikipedia.
I was informed this series centers on the growing relationship between an initially innocent college graduate, and a wealthy businessman who convinces her to sign a contract stating that he can have complete control over her. In the words of Wikipedia, "It is notable for its explicitly erotic scenes featuring elements of sexual practices involving bondage, discipline, sadism, and masochism.
Now, what makes this book a phenomenon is not the caliber of the writing, or the intricacy of the plot, but rather how quickly it made it to the top of the best-selling lists. In fact, it has now become the world's fastest-selling paperback of all time.
The primary target audience? Women. Women who are unhappy with their relationships, women who hope to meet Mr. Right, women who hope to add some spice to their love life, women who think that it's harmless to read some erotica...
The media has gone so far as to label it "Mommy Porn." Coupled with the recent release of Magic Mike, a film focusing on the life of male strippers, women everywhere are filling themselves up with unrealistic, and unhealthy, sexual fantasies.
What is a God-fearing woman to do?
Today we're linking to an outside source again for our answer. And I think it covers it well. The post is titled, "A Black and White Choice NOT to Read 50 Shades of Grey," and I daresay that many of the arguements hold true for Magic Mike.
The world will try to sell us many things, but if it doesn't build up our relationship with our spouse, promote a life built on God's truths, and glorify our Creator, we'll have none of it thank-you-very-much.
To God be the glory, forever and ever, Amen!
At first I was unaware of what this trilogy of books was about, but that's why we have Wikipedia.
I was informed this series centers on the growing relationship between an initially innocent college graduate, and a wealthy businessman who convinces her to sign a contract stating that he can have complete control over her. In the words of Wikipedia, "It is notable for its explicitly erotic scenes featuring elements of sexual practices involving bondage, discipline, sadism, and masochism.
Now, what makes this book a phenomenon is not the caliber of the writing, or the intricacy of the plot, but rather how quickly it made it to the top of the best-selling lists. In fact, it has now become the world's fastest-selling paperback of all time.
The primary target audience? Women. Women who are unhappy with their relationships, women who hope to meet Mr. Right, women who hope to add some spice to their love life, women who think that it's harmless to read some erotica...
The media has gone so far as to label it "Mommy Porn." Coupled with the recent release of Magic Mike, a film focusing on the life of male strippers, women everywhere are filling themselves up with unrealistic, and unhealthy, sexual fantasies.
What is a God-fearing woman to do?
Today we're linking to an outside source again for our answer. And I think it covers it well. The post is titled, "A Black and White Choice NOT to Read 50 Shades of Grey," and I daresay that many of the arguements hold true for Magic Mike.
The world will try to sell us many things, but if it doesn't build up our relationship with our spouse, promote a life built on God's truths, and glorify our Creator, we'll have none of it thank-you-very-much.
To God be the glory, forever and ever, Amen!
Thursday, 21 June 2012
Worldly Wisdom
As a Christian woman, the messages we receive from the Bible and from the world are often very conflicting.
The world tells us that we need to be successful, ambitious, pursuing our own dreams and empowered to understand our true value. The world tells us that we are entitled to overthrow the authority of our husbands and become the leaders of our households, while simultaneously demanding that they bring us flowers, open doors for us, 'spoil us' with shopping sprees and remember every possible excuse to lavish gifts on us. During pregnancy the ante is raised even more, as we are encouraged that the men are responsible for running out at all hours to get us our hearts' desires, be it pickles, slurpees or onion rings. And if the men fail to do any of these things for us we are taught to punish them by withholding affection from them, building up barriers and refusing to communicate with them, and inviting the girls over for a session of 'husband bashing' where we talk about all the ways our husbands are letting us down.
Granted, in most church circles, it's clear to see that most of the examples I listed above are not reasonable and are unbecoming for a Christian woman, but I think many times we don't realize how rapidly the poison of this world spreads and taints our perspectives.
Picture this: it's Mother's Day. You got up early to make breakfast because you all had places that you needed to be, you rushed to get the the kids ready and out the door, your husband says "Happy Mother's Day" but because times are tight there's no card or flowers. You go through your day like any other day - cleaning, taking care of screaming kids (who seem much crankier than normal), making supper, and even doing all the dishes after you eat. It's about this time that you sit down, look around at how your day went and think, "I deserve better on my special day," and suddenly you're angry with your husband for not pampering you more and you remind him about how men are supposed to make their wives breakfast and do all the dishes and help out with the kids more on Mother's Day.
Is it understandable that you feel like that? Yes. Is it reasonable to feel that way? Perhaps.
Does it reflect a true heart of selflessness and servitude that is focused solely on God's glory? Not quite.
Now, it's not bad to be frustrated in these circumstances. It's the sense of entitlement we feel that's the issue, and how our desire to imitate Christ can be overpowered by our own desire to be served.
We feel entitled to being pampered on Mother's Day, and when that doesn't happen to our standards, we feel let down, neglected and hurt. But I've never seen anything in the Bible that talks about, "Set aside one day a year where you are justified in your desire to be served and where selfish expectations are acceptable. Don't worry about having a servant's heart on that day." But I have seen parts that say things like, "Who is wise and understanding in you? Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. If you harbour bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such 'wisdom' does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, of the devil. For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere." James 3:13-17
The 'wisdom' of the world tells us that on Mother's Day, and Valentines Day, or any other such day, that we are entitled to being served and we should expect it. But that's the world's 'wisdom'.
Again, to go over things that I am not saying, I am not saying that it is bad to get flowers on Mother's Day. I am not saying that it is bad to be served by your husband. But what the Bible teaches is that "even as the Son of Man came not to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many." (Matthew 20:28) We are always to have a servant's heart. If your husband failed to observe a special day because he was inwardly focused instead of concerning himself about serving you, it is sinful, but our husband's sin does not justify our own. And to take your eyes off of God's glory, and to shift our focus onto our own pride and desires is idolatry.
We will always be serving a god. Every little thing we do, every action we perform, is serving someone or something. The real question is: who/what are we serving? Who/what is our god? What are we making into an idol? And if the answer is anything other than 'God', it's wrong.
In Martha Peace's book, The Excellent Wife, Martha provides a List of Common Idols ("False Gods") that are stumbling blocks for wives:
1. Good health
2. Physical appearance
3. Having a Christian marriage
4. Being treated fairly
5. Having a hurt-free/pain-free life
6. Worldly pleasures (drugs, alcohol, sex)
7. A child or children
8. Another person
9. A material thing
10. An ideal ("pro-life movement", "peace movement")
11. Money
12. Success
13. Others' approval
14. Being in control
15. Having your "needs" met
The funny thing about look over this list is that there are lots of good things on there. We should desire to have a Christian marriage, and we should pursue good health... but those things should never be our primary purpose. Things like being appreciated, being right, loving your husband, volunteering, helping others... these should never supersede our top priority of glorifying God and loving Him. We can never abandon our chief end, even for a moment, or we become guilty of idolatry - even if we a pursuing a 'righteous' goal.
How does this look practically? It's serving your husband and submitting to him even when he lets you down. It's always working, not for our own gain, but for other's, to God's glory. It means not ever excusing sin because you are working towards a goal other than God (you can be right in an arguement and wrong in a fight when your 'god' shifts). It's realizing that some of the desires we have actually conflict with what God desires for our hearts and lives, and submitting to His way, and desire to follow the example set by His Son.
How do we do this practically? Well, it begins by shedding the worldly "wisdom" we have acquired and replacing it in our hearts with God's wisdom and love of His word. We need to realize that the only person whose obedience to God we have any real control over is ourselves, and while we may be right in thinking our husbands should be doing something differently, or better, we should always work to serve God in how we respond to them - not ourselves.
Questions:
What are some things that can be idols in your life?
What are some pieces of "wordly wisdom" that you have been deceived into believing?
How can you practically glorify God as you serve your husband and children this week?
We're praying for God's grace to open our eyes to the things in our hearts and lives that aren't of Him, and thanking Him for a better way than what the world has to offer us!
To God be the glory, forever and ever, amen!
The Excellent Wife: A Biblical Perspective, by Martha Peace. FOCUS Publishing Incorporated Copyright 1995, 1999, 2005 pgs. 60-61
The world tells us that we need to be successful, ambitious, pursuing our own dreams and empowered to understand our true value. The world tells us that we are entitled to overthrow the authority of our husbands and become the leaders of our households, while simultaneously demanding that they bring us flowers, open doors for us, 'spoil us' with shopping sprees and remember every possible excuse to lavish gifts on us. During pregnancy the ante is raised even more, as we are encouraged that the men are responsible for running out at all hours to get us our hearts' desires, be it pickles, slurpees or onion rings. And if the men fail to do any of these things for us we are taught to punish them by withholding affection from them, building up barriers and refusing to communicate with them, and inviting the girls over for a session of 'husband bashing' where we talk about all the ways our husbands are letting us down.
Granted, in most church circles, it's clear to see that most of the examples I listed above are not reasonable and are unbecoming for a Christian woman, but I think many times we don't realize how rapidly the poison of this world spreads and taints our perspectives.
Picture this: it's Mother's Day. You got up early to make breakfast because you all had places that you needed to be, you rushed to get the the kids ready and out the door, your husband says "Happy Mother's Day" but because times are tight there's no card or flowers. You go through your day like any other day - cleaning, taking care of screaming kids (who seem much crankier than normal), making supper, and even doing all the dishes after you eat. It's about this time that you sit down, look around at how your day went and think, "I deserve better on my special day," and suddenly you're angry with your husband for not pampering you more and you remind him about how men are supposed to make their wives breakfast and do all the dishes and help out with the kids more on Mother's Day.
Is it understandable that you feel like that? Yes. Is it reasonable to feel that way? Perhaps.
Does it reflect a true heart of selflessness and servitude that is focused solely on God's glory? Not quite.
Now, it's not bad to be frustrated in these circumstances. It's the sense of entitlement we feel that's the issue, and how our desire to imitate Christ can be overpowered by our own desire to be served.
We feel entitled to being pampered on Mother's Day, and when that doesn't happen to our standards, we feel let down, neglected and hurt. But I've never seen anything in the Bible that talks about, "Set aside one day a year where you are justified in your desire to be served and where selfish expectations are acceptable. Don't worry about having a servant's heart on that day." But I have seen parts that say things like, "Who is wise and understanding in you? Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. If you harbour bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such 'wisdom' does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, of the devil. For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere." James 3:13-17
The 'wisdom' of the world tells us that on Mother's Day, and Valentines Day, or any other such day, that we are entitled to being served and we should expect it. But that's the world's 'wisdom'.
Again, to go over things that I am not saying, I am not saying that it is bad to get flowers on Mother's Day. I am not saying that it is bad to be served by your husband. But what the Bible teaches is that "even as the Son of Man came not to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many." (Matthew 20:28) We are always to have a servant's heart. If your husband failed to observe a special day because he was inwardly focused instead of concerning himself about serving you, it is sinful, but our husband's sin does not justify our own. And to take your eyes off of God's glory, and to shift our focus onto our own pride and desires is idolatry.
We will always be serving a god. Every little thing we do, every action we perform, is serving someone or something. The real question is: who/what are we serving? Who/what is our god? What are we making into an idol? And if the answer is anything other than 'God', it's wrong.
In Martha Peace's book, The Excellent Wife, Martha provides a List of Common Idols ("False Gods") that are stumbling blocks for wives:
1. Good health
2. Physical appearance
3. Having a Christian marriage
4. Being treated fairly
5. Having a hurt-free/pain-free life
6. Worldly pleasures (drugs, alcohol, sex)
7. A child or children
8. Another person
9. A material thing
10. An ideal ("pro-life movement", "peace movement")
11. Money
12. Success
13. Others' approval
14. Being in control
15. Having your "needs" met
The funny thing about look over this list is that there are lots of good things on there. We should desire to have a Christian marriage, and we should pursue good health... but those things should never be our primary purpose. Things like being appreciated, being right, loving your husband, volunteering, helping others... these should never supersede our top priority of glorifying God and loving Him. We can never abandon our chief end, even for a moment, or we become guilty of idolatry - even if we a pursuing a 'righteous' goal.
How does this look practically? It's serving your husband and submitting to him even when he lets you down. It's always working, not for our own gain, but for other's, to God's glory. It means not ever excusing sin because you are working towards a goal other than God (you can be right in an arguement and wrong in a fight when your 'god' shifts). It's realizing that some of the desires we have actually conflict with what God desires for our hearts and lives, and submitting to His way, and desire to follow the example set by His Son.
How do we do this practically? Well, it begins by shedding the worldly "wisdom" we have acquired and replacing it in our hearts with God's wisdom and love of His word. We need to realize that the only person whose obedience to God we have any real control over is ourselves, and while we may be right in thinking our husbands should be doing something differently, or better, we should always work to serve God in how we respond to them - not ourselves.
Questions:
What are some things that can be idols in your life?
What are some pieces of "wordly wisdom" that you have been deceived into believing?
How can you practically glorify God as you serve your husband and children this week?
We're praying for God's grace to open our eyes to the things in our hearts and lives that aren't of Him, and thanking Him for a better way than what the world has to offer us!
To God be the glory, forever and ever, amen!
The Excellent Wife: A Biblical Perspective, by Martha Peace. FOCUS Publishing Incorporated Copyright 1995, 1999, 2005 pgs. 60-61
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